Tuesday, March 29, 2005

secret identities

I am a member of the League of Extraordinary Petes. We call our selves peteys in honor of the Petey character in American Pie 2, as we often make asses of our selves semi-intentionally.

We each have all the appropriate superhero criteria. Mine are as such:

Superhero Identity: Rockstar Jones
Real Name: Bridget *******
Height: 5’3”
Costume: Purple lame Hammer pants, a leather jacket, booby shirt
Insignia: Her name and a music note
Powers: Fights crime with her coolness, looks good in all sunglasses
Weapons of choice: Synthesizer, bad jokes, long toasts, palm pilot
Weaknesses: Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, cutting her own hair

Having grown up in a religious Michigan household, Bridget found it hard to be who she really was. She feared the truth of her super secret self would be considered evil, the fruits of the devil. She spent years trying to cover up her true identity but once she moved out to NYC there was no need to hide. Underneath the nerdy mask lived…a rockstar.
Rockstar Jones emerged no holds barred taking the city by storm. She can party like no other, talk like no other, and download music like no other. She works hard and plays hard. With her synthesizer she plays tunes that puts evil doers into an epileptic seizure; she tells horrible jokes that make criminals cry.

You may laugh, but way too much of this is true. I have a whole manual for all the gals. This is what people like us did with our time before blogs...

No comments: