Thursday, October 27, 2005

yaaaaaaaaay!


How awesome is this????  I'm not normally a fan of reality tv, but now I'll finally be sucked in...

healthy outlets

I have never been one to take care of things the way I should.  Preventative measures, what are those?  I like spontaneity and spur of the moment.  Give me the adventure every time.
 
As mentioned yesterday, I had a rough work day.  It happens.  When my day came to an end, I was at a quandary as how to deal with it all.  I didn't want to mull my troubles over any more, I wanted to decompress. 
 
First thing that came to mind was a drinkfest - I have gone home from a bad day to a bottle and a half of wine more than once.  Problem was that I knew most of my buddies would be out for the count, and not to mention getting drunk would only make the next morning that much harder.  Secondly I thought about a mad chocolate binge, ben and jerrys all the way baby!  But I just lost all that excess weight, gaining it all back would suck. 
 
Escape, escape...what to do?  Then it hit me!  Movies!  There is nothing to rip me out of my self-obsessed world like sitting down and enjoying a flick in a movie theatre.  So I walked for a while, and ended up at the 23rd st cinema to see "Stay"
 
Damn, that movie was not supposed to be a thriller, but it scared the living bejeesus out of me.  Halfway through I was SURE someone was going to walk up behind me and slit my throat.  It was so scary seeing it by myself, I started to get the major heebie-jeebies!  It was an okay film, definitely rental but not necessary in the theatre.  It did alright by me, my mind was done with work.  That is the healthiest recovery I've ever had.  Who knew?
 
To top it off, this morning I did this super-healthy breakfast thing.  I had a super veggie/fruit juice paired with eggs.  All those damn nutrients gave me everything I needed - I didn't even have any coffee or red bull today. 
 
Do you understand?!?!  No caffeine.  None.  Nada.  I got six hours of sleep and got up to go to my damn corporate nine to five job on no stimulants.
 
Where oh where has rockstar gone, oh where oh where can she be?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

inconsolable

I just had a really crappy day at work.  Someone I work with got a major report wrong and I have to deal with the backlash, totally sucks.  To add insult to injury, Ms Random keeps trying to cheer me up, but she is so not funny she just ends up annoying me more and more.  I finally had to say "everybody has a bad day once and a while.  please let me just have a bad day."
 
Not fair to her, but I am not feeling that whole life is fair thing right about now.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

mastication

I am so happy to be eating again. Even better, the pipes seem to be working just fine. The proof is in the pudding, as they say, so we will see how long I go before tummy troubles re-surface.

What I learned from my fast:

- Deep down in my psyche I view my body as my enemy, a sulky child that will turn on me at a whim regardless of how well I treat it.

- It is too hard to try to maintain any kind of workout regimen while on a fast. The body needs fuel for that kind of effort.

- Where I may have been flippant about ten pounds of weight, it actually makes a very significant difference to the functioning of my system.

- Detoxing does really work, both physically and mentally. If I don't get a rumbling in the meantime, I will do a juice fast once a year.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

reality

There is so no way I am extending this fast.  Working out has increased my hunger to unimaginable heights.  I am constantly craving food!  And I have to run this race, so not training is out of the question.
 
The first few days have to consist of fruit and well cooked veggies, I wonder what I'll crave after that?  Dreaming of recipes...
 

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

funhouse mirror

You know how anorexics and bulimics look in the mirror and see a fat person? I have the opposite problem; I look in the mirror and think I’m totally skinny. Why is this a problem, considering this day and age with so many people who have self confidence issues?

The problem is I have been lying to myself. I think “Oh, if I lose five pounds I’ll be fine” or “I’m healthy!” Then I see a picture and think “Who is that? I don’t look like that! I just don’t photograph well!” Or I go online and check my BMI and it says I am overweight and unhealthy and think that they just aren’t counting in the extra weight I carry in my boobs (two pounds each, at the very least!)

Since I started this detox I have lost 15 pounds. Five will come back on when I go back to solid foods from restored water and digestion weight, but that still is a lot. I have shrunk significantly, as I can tell from the fit of my clothing.

What is really an eye opener is I can tell even more from my visit to the gym yesterday. I have a five mile race to run (or walk) next weekend so I decided to test my lungs and legs by hitting the treadmill.

Wow, fifteen pounds makes a difference. My stride felt graceful, long, and natural. I had not realized how much my body was compensating for the extra weight, how forced my gait was. How much I was putting my muscles and bones through because my body just was too heavy to be enduring that much stress. I am beginning to understand.

The thing that really gets me is that even with this weight loss, my BMI is still too high to be considered healthy. One has to wonder how many of my illnesses have been contributed to by this fact. In order to have a healthy weight, even at the top end for my height, I need to lose an additional ten pounds. I’m even considering extending my juice fast another week. (It would actually be totally safe for me to extend it for two more weeks)

I realize that such an extreme diet does not solve the real problem, which is how I eat and the amount exercise I get. I believe, however, that this fast really is changing the way I see food and my body in relation to it. We’ll have to see when I get back to eating if my food cravings or ability to correctly interpret my hunger are metamorphosed as my books say they will be.

The hardest part about extending this fast is that I really miss eating, and I really miss beer and wine. I’m Irish dammit, this much sobriety is hard on a person!

Monday, October 17, 2005

day seven

Over the last couple of days I have not had the boundless energy as in the earlier stages of my fast. It has gotten more interesting than that. Whatever I put into my body is having a direct and noticeable effect. Its like all my life I have been using my body blind, and now for the first time I have discovered the manual. I am beginning to understand the importance and impact of every item I put into my body. Its not that I never noticed certain foods had certain effects, it is just that they were dulled. So dull that I had to look for them in order to recognize them.

I've heard about people like this, but I never thought I'd be one. It seems I was so bogged down with so many unhealthy items it dulled my reactions, my ability to utilize food in its ultimate form, as fuel. This makes me wonder more about the differences it has on our bodies to eat organic and non-genetically altered foods. If you have never given much thought to what genetically altering food that we eat means, you totally have to read:



This book is a great read and so informative. This author takes a fictional narrative about a couple of families and has them deal with real life issues and conundrums dealing with genetic modification. She has another book:



Which does the same kind of thing but with the meat industry concerning hormones, the conditions the animals are kept in, and what they are fed.

I like being entertained when I'm learning, what can I say.

So even though my hyper-activity calmed to a regular flow, my thoughts maintained lightning speed and clarity. It occurred to me that I have not evaluated my goals in quite some time. I used to do it annually when I got my new planner filler pages. They always came with goal setting exercises, and they were great for boiling down my desires and benchmarking my successes.

In a desire to step back and look at my life, I discovered theses tools are available online for free, just follow the link to create your personal mission statement. Connecticut Jen (now Kzoo Jen?) from previous discussions on the subject, I think you will love this! I know I did.

The exercises gave me a lot of food for thought. I'll mull on it and get back to you all.

Side note, I so miss drinking and kind of can't wait for this weekend so I can fly off the wagon! I wonder how much I'll notice those effects, eh? It will be nice to have a funny story to tell instead of just blah stuff.

my old stomping ground

I've been hearing an awful lot of static on the radio about General Motors lately, with the bankruptcy of Delphi and some huge drop in GM stock.

How are you GMers holding out? What is the atmosphere? Is this dilemna the same as ones past? Are you all considering quitting and getting jobs at the casinos?

Saturday, October 15, 2005

red bull love

I have to admit that during this fast I have significantly cut down on my caffeine intake, but have relented to adding half of a sugar-free red bull into my morning juice. Please note that as much as I love coffee I have been abstaining entirely.

The red bull and I have quite a love affair. To give you and idea, check this out. All three situations are TOTALLY me, but especially the second and third. Rockstar personified!

Oh, and my sister should check out this definition of taurine, as she has been wary of this strange ingredient in the past. Geez, what kind of chemistry degree did she get again that she never heard of this before? Hmmmm... :)

Friday, October 14, 2005

day four

That's right folks; I'm still on the juice fast.

Day two I was chock full of energy, you couldn't stop me or shut me up. My thoughts were clear, my logic flawless. The energy level stayed high all day, and then I crashed around 8pm. I went to bed soon after, but then a funny thing happened. I could not go to sleep. Yep, more insomnia, except this time I was not extra dehydrated and feeling weird heartbeat rhythms. I was just...awake.

Day three was another energy day, and I was able to work until 9pm before pooping out. I took a taxi home, drank some nice veggie juice, went to bed and again and nothing. No sleep for rockstar. I was up until 3am. The fasting books say that when you do not have to digest food you are saving your body wear and tear, thus the effort. The conservation of exertion is what causes the reduction in need of sleep.

This morning it was kind of hard to wake up, and I noticed my muscles felt fatigued after just one flight of stairs. Since I'm drinking juice I'm probably not in ketosis, so there is a risk my body is breaking down muscle tissue as well as fat. I can't have that - I have four races to run yet this year! On the way home I bought some whey protein to add to my beverages. Problem solved.

Besides the energy, clearness of thought and insomnia, another side effect has been some weight loss. When I was water fasting I dropped ten pounds in two days, which was way more than the books said would happen. There was to be significant loss of maybe four pounds the first two days due to water loss. Turns out it is fortuitous I quit the water fast, because I was significantly dehydrated. Yes, I know how ironic it is that all I drink is water yet was dying of thirst. The lack of nutrients in my body was inhibiting my ability to retain liquids.

After starting back on the juice diet, I gained a couple of pounds back immediately, although I am definitely thinner than I was Saturday. My pants are as loose as they were in June when I was training every day for the marathon.

Another strange spin-off is that I have not bitten my nails since Sunday. Somehow the fact that I am not eating has also stopped me from gnawing at my nails. I had forgotten how weak they are, though. They peel off if I scrape something hard. So in an effort to prevent a relapse, I went and bought a tip and gel nail kit and spent two hours putting the damn things on. I cut them very short so as not to inhibit my typing. Heaven forbid I don't blog, what would you all do to avoid working if I didn't keep posting?

I have ordered a slew of fruits and veggies to be delivered to me tomorrow morning from fresh direct to keep me in juice through the rest of this week and the end of my fast. I'm going to try to get back to the gym tomorrow as well, do some very light cardio and start getting back in to shape.

I miss the act of chewing. I’m definitely looking forward to this Sunday when I can eat again!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

insanity!!

Lord god, apple launched the new imac today. I have been obsessively looking at the new capabilities for an hour now. Sorry, I can't list them all because I am absolutely dying of consumeristic lust and can't afford to buy a new computer yet, even though I direly need one. I keep running out of memory on my old school dalmation imac:

Ah well, at least I get to torture myself a bit more and see both new shiny baubles at the apple store this evening. My Mecca.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

madness!!

But the good kind...the new ipod launched today plays video.

That means you can watch music videos. For god's sake, that means you can download and watch a TV show at your leisure.

The damn thing comes in 30G and 60G, and I think it has a bigger screen to make the viewing easier. It is advertised as being lighter and thinner. Tomorrow I must take a field trip to the apple store and review the size and physical beauty. If it is as small or as portable as my mini, I may cry.

Why the tears? Because if it is as small as it is, they just convinced me to buy two ipods in one year.

Damn I love apple, but I hate them too.

day one redux

My terrific feeling lasted all day today. I was chock full of energy, in a good mood, thinking and movin' fine. In the afterglow of such high spirits I searched the web for the best reasonable priced juicer a girl could buy. I ended up finding the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer, really a good product - it can juice wheatgrass too! Maybe I'll grow some or something...

Anyhoo, after I decided on the identity of my future juicer, I thought to myself "hmmm, I should look for a juicing book”, then literally looked up at my bookcase and what was there, in MY books in my office standing up facing me? Why the book "Total Juicing" of course! Kismet.

Wanna hear more kismet? I trudged myself over to 19th Street and 6th Avenue to the Bed Bath & Beyond and bought my new toy/fad item. Walking onto the subway I looked over and saw an acquaintance I had worked with at the restaurant. "Why kismet?" you may ask? Because she is the only person I have ever met that has fasted before, and I was working with her when she was on one. I had thought about her earlier that day for the first time in at the very least a year since she, to me, was my sole source of actual experience in fasting, my physical knowledge base. She noticed my juicer, and when I mentioned my fast she said, "Wow, that's funny, I'm starting one tomorrow."

Amazing.

So here I am, sipping my "lunch bucket" juice concoction. I think I need to re-read "The Celestine Prophecy" as part of my spiritual/soul journey during this abstention, but not just because of the happenings of the day.

I was reading one of my fasting books last night, and as part of the setting goals chapter I read these two questions, and they really gave me pause:

- Have you ever had the sense that the world around you is magical, alive, luminous, and deeply sacred or mysterious?

- How long has it been since you experienced this feeling?

At first I smiled, remembering when I did perceive the world in such a way. Then I suddenly felt a strong sense of loss and sadness, realizing I don't have that feeling anymore. Literally I was overwhelmed with grief.

The beauty of the second question was that by trying to find the answer, I could see what had happened to change me. It was not one occurrence or a single incident, but a steady progression. Recognizing this gave me the even more powerful realization that I'm going to feel magic and mystery again.

I won't lose it again; it is only by opening yourself up to the possibility of miracles that you can see them at all.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

true believer

I woke up this morning and felt absolutely terrific!!!! Better than I have felt in quite a while. Not even before the pneumonia did I feel this good. After work today I am going to go buy a juicer and get right back on the wagon, if I feel this good after just a two-day tune-up imagine how good I'll feel after a real one? As long as I don't get insomnia again, that is...

hypocondria

Okay, fast is broken. As I lay awake tonight yet again, incapable of falling asleep, all I could do was imagine that my heart rate was irregular and that I felt funny, and then terrified myself into believing that I had an electrolyte shortage and was going to die in my sleep. I think I'll save up and buy a juicer to do a much safer, reasonable juice fast. A water fast is just too extreme, even for me. I'm sure the two days was a nice break for my guts...

Monday, October 10, 2005

day two

Still hungry. Mmmmmmmm foooood. It didn't help that I had today off and sat around all day. Tomorrow back to work, so at least I won't be barraged by fast food commercials. Why god do I so crave taco bell? They must have subliminal messages in the commercials; I don't even buy food from there anymore.

One point to note, the forewarned insomnia hit a little earlier than expected. I totally could not get to sleep last night before six am. That NEVER happens to me. At least when I'm not in pain. It was weird; I just could not get drowsy or nod off. I tried all my tricks. All that did not involve eating, of course.

The energy level has been pretty good, even though I do miss my coffee. I loves me the caffeine. In a point of high spirits today I even signed up for the last four races I need to run this year to qualify for automatic entry into next year's NYC marathon. And I renewed my membership. This is, of course, ironic, as during the fast no strenuous exercise is allowed, thus no training. But the races are all November and December (December ones you get hot chocolate at the end - num!) so I have time to make sure I'm back in shape.

Twelve days left, the countdown continues.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

day one

I'm trying a little science experiment. You all may be familiar with my love of all things NPR, especially the show "This American Life" with Ira Glass. I heard something in last week's episode (#259) that got me thinking. And then I got curious. So in all this time that I have had on my hands being sick and all, I bought a couple of books. B&N.com has same day delivery in Manhattan, don't you know.

What are the books about?

Fasting.

Oh, doggie, has she gone and lost her mind? Hear me out people. According to scads of literature, after two days of fasting the body starts converting stored fats to fuel. After seven, all bacteria, toxins, and illnesses are consumed. I am not thinking some crazy weight loss scheme here; I'm thinking my health.

Of all the times I have been forced not to eat due to surgeries, I have gained that weight back pronto, so I know that the concept of weight loss from not eating is stupid. But when it comes to these health issues, I think these people have something.

After I had my foot of intestine removed, way back in the day, I was not allowed to eat for two weeks. And I was healthy for a very long time – years, in fact. Over time, the frequencies of my little episodes have increased, as you may know. All these books say that if you have digestive problems, this kind of break gives your body time to heal itself that it direly needs. As I have enough extra weight on my bones to keep my body from eating my muscle mass or going into starvation, so it seems like a win-win situation to me.

The books are also big on the whole clarity of mind and spiritual awakening, but if I get any of that it’s just icing on the cake. I just want to stop visiting the hospital already.

So here I am, done with day one. I have gone 24 hours without eating, taking in only water. I feel fine, a little hungry, but fine. Earlier in the day I was sluggish, and my mind was kind of foggy to the point where I was finding it hard to concentrate, but now I'm back with a vengeance. Energy and all. Just like the books predicted. Next I am to expect maybe more hunger tomorrow, and then after 48 hours I should be in ketosis (using body fat as fuel as opposed to my glycogen stores) and my appetite will be appeased.

If anyone asks, I am going to tell him or her I am on a liquid diet to appease my tummy, which is the truth. I'm just doing it longer than I normally would. My goal is to go fourteen days, which the literature I have read outlines as the minimum time span needed to clean out toxins and heal the body.

You, my lucky readers, get to come along for the ride. Yeeha!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

luck

So I ended up in the hospital again, tummy troubles. I had to explain to at least, no exaggeration here, fifteen different doctors my health history. As normal it took them about nine hours to get around to taking a CAT scan, and of course the blockage cleared by then giving them nothing to work with but my past, causing each and every one of them to ask me more and more questions. I even had an EKG taken, which was a new one for me.

What's kooky is with this bout of pneumonia I have been to the hospital three times in three weeks. Thank god for having health care!

Yesterday the doctor insisted I stay the night for "observation." Always a fluke. All that ever means is "we aren't sure what is wrong with you, but need to feel like we have done something so will hold you here like a bug under a glass to achieve some sense of control of your situation." I even had to fight to be released this morning. They prescribed me with a bunch of Crohn's disease drugs, made me promise to follow up with a gastroenterologist, and sent me on my merry way. Thing is, I think I'm still over Crohn's and have another adhesion, just way worse than the other one. I'll have to get a colonoscopy to prove it though. THAT should be loads of fun.

One point of interest, even through all the regular temperature and blood pressure checks (about one an hour to keep any person from getting a solid night of sleep, don't you know) I managed to sleep about 24 hours straight. Oh, and I had one doctor who was shocked that I had thrown up at least eight times the other night, like that was so many. Obviously that was enough for me to go to the emergency room, but I've had worse. Silly interns.

I'm actually feeling pretty good, no small part because of the woman who shared my hospital room, Amy. She was on her eighteenth day being in there, with no end in sight. Amy has some very rare form of cancer that has affected her liver, causing her to overproduce steroids. Among a ton of other symptoms, she has gained about fifty pounds, as she put “to add insult to injury.” She is undergoing slews of chemo. Unlike many roommates I have had in the hospitals, Amy is incredibly intelligent and refined. Soft, calming voice, excellent grammar and vocabulary, and I could see an avid reader of literature and newspapers. The kind of person I very much admire. Seeing her have an illness so much worse than mine really kept my trials in perspective. I most likely can do something to fix myself, and it should be a lot less arduous than chemo. I really hope she gets better. She has a good chance; since her disease is so rare every doctor is obsessed with her and her treatment. Amy admitted that she knows that in some weird way she is lucky to be able to generate that much attention.

Seeing someone like Amy stay strong has a great way of kicking all my self-pity out of the window. As sick as I can be, I am still really lucky.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

r.e.m.

This Codeine stuff has been giving me really weird dreams. I dreamt today that my dad was getting attacked in Disneyworld by a lion while my sister and I stood by and watched helplessly. Later on I dreamt I was having sex with a paraplegic. Really hot sex. (What can I say; I’m a sucker for strong arms) I have also had dreams this week taking me back to the mongolian bbq, general motors, michael jackson, and zombies. Whenever I have dream periods of my life there are the zombies.

I recently learned that people in your dreams tend to be combinations of people in your real life, that they represent more than one person at a time. For instance, that dream about your mother could represent your mom, your therapist, and your girlfriend all at the same time. That would be an exact paraphrase from a psych textbook a friend was studying from.

So I don't know who my dad, the paraplegic, or the zombies represent, but I'm really glad I'm out of Codeine so I can deal with one dream at a time like normal.

If given a choice, I'll go back to the paraplegic first, please.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

observation

You know what's fun? Sneezing after eating about ten baby carrots. Well, its fun if you like lots of orange.

Monday, October 03, 2005

get it started

Ah readers, I rather gypped you on my last hospital story. Now that I have had a few doses of antibiotics and have gotten tons of sleep thanks to our friend Codeine, I feel up to giving you the whole shebang.

I walked into the hospital emergency room Saturday night just after seven o'clock. I had discovered the weekend prior that on Saturdays and Sundays the lull period is between seven and ten. The day's injuries have been treated, and people have not gotten sufficiently liquored up enough to start seriously hurting themselves yet. As anticipated, the waiting room was fairly empty, save for the security guard, an orderly on break watching TV, an elder Hispanic man waiting for someone, and a rather giddy-acting couple waiting with what seemed all of their belongings in garbage bags. The Godfather was on the TV, and there was quite a bit of audience participation going on. The giddy couple was acting pretty strangely, which kind of had me on edge but I had faith in the security guard's presence.

I didn't have to wait long. I got admitted to triage within ten minutes, which is like lighting compared to other emergency room visits in my experience. Just like last week, they took my blood pressure (fine), my pulse (fine), and my temperature (fine). Then they put on the finger thingy for my blood oxygen and it started to beep. Funny, I don't remember it beeping last week. The triage nurse asks me to take a deep breath. I do, start coughing, as I can't take a deep breath without doing so. He checks off another part of the form and I go on to provide my health care info.

I was called in to see the doctor at the same time as the woman from the giddy couple. She took the bed next to me and started to get treated first.

"Why are you here today?"
"To detox" she mumbled
"From alcohol and heroin?"
"Yes"
"When did you have your last fix”?
No answer, the doctor repeats the question and she mumbles incoherently.
"Did you just shoot up, is that why you keep falling asleep?"
"Yes"

And from there it goes on. This woman has been living in a hotel and has been on heroin for years. She also drinks at least a six-pack a day, and when she doesn't drink she gets tremors and hallucinations. She had gone through detox once before, nine years ago, and it had worked for a while. She is ready to quit now because she is tired of being an addict. The doctor orders some tests and she falls asleep, snoring lightly. He then moves on to the patient in the bed to the other side of me. As he walks by I notice he's a bit older, balding but seems to be in pretty good shape.

On the other side of me there is a young man that looks like a gangbanger. The doctor explains that his heart palpitations were due to stress, and overall to depression. He discussed prescribing antidepressants, and setting up sessions with a psychiatrist. That depression was normal and often presented in physical forms. Also that the young man most likely would only be on meds for six to eight months until the depression past, up to the discretion of his follow up care.

Now it’s my turn. The doctor comes over, asks me about my symptoms. No, no no, I answer, I only have a cough. I've had it for two weeks and it won't go away. I notice he's not wearing a ring. He's kinda cute. He looks in my ears, my nose, down my throat. He listens to my chest, has me take off my shirt and put on a robe to listen better, un-hooks my bra to get an even better listen. I'm thinking he seems apologetic, almost uncomfortable while this is going on. I, of course, have no pride nor shame in hospitals, I have bared my ass so many times in those damn robes I don't even try anymore. Really, I have become a hospital nudist. It also helps that as most hospitals are filled with old people I always feel like the hottest girl in there and my confidence quotient skyrockets. But I digress.

He then says, "hmm, let's try something" and has me put on another blood oxygen monitor. We watch it together for what seems an eternity but really is a minute. I say "normal, right?" and he pauses, then replies with something funny like "unsystematically abnormal". "Oh!" I say, surprised. Crap, I start thinking, just when all this marathon training is going so good. All I need is some lung ailment or disorder. C'mon already! Let me get this marathon goal! Aarrgh!

Off I go to get a chest x-ray. I walk over, get scanned, and then they hand me the films and say, "give these to the doctor"

This, people, is all strange. Normally you wait hours between procedures, have to be wheeled back and forth, and they normally don't hand you x-ray films and then shoo you off. Not that any of this is bad, it’s just new.

So I walk back and hand the films to my waiting doctor. (Also new). I follow him to the lighted screen as he puts up the x-rays of my chest. My first thought? My boobs look good, nice an even. Then I can clearly see that my lower right lung is all cloudy. He then, without pause, says "yep, pneumonia."

"Pneumonia??" I scream. "What?? I've been resting, drinking OJ..." then of course I realize I am shouting at the kind doctor, so I apologize and explain that it's not him, its just shock. He seems uncomfortable with me looking over his shoulder, so I walk back over to my bed and sit down.

After a minute he comes back and explains the medications he is going to prescribe, and how I should use them. I get dressed, then go to the desk and wait for my forms to get released.

The doctor at this point has finished taking care of everyone to a point. He is waiting for the results of the detox woman's tests, the depression guy is gone. I'm thinking the doctor is hot, so try to chat him up a bit. I ask how you get pneumonia, if they are always this slow Saturdays, blah blah. He is responsive and conversational, but eventually the nurses come back and I start to feel silly being miss chatty, so I am left waiting for my paperwork in silence. Finally it comes, I sign by the X. As I leave, I wave and say "Thanks guys, have a good night!" and they wave back, looking rather surprised. I'm not really sure why, maybe it was my casualness and comfort while leaving. Maybe they are not used to that much cheer.

Since then, it has occurred to me that I could have made much more effective advances on the good doctor. I liked his bedside manner, I liked him. In lieu of wandering around the hospital pointlessly the next few weeks in hope of "bumping" into him, I have decided to send him a thank you note to his office. On this note I will mention if he were interested I'd love to meet him for drinks sometime, and give him my number. I'm thinking of sending him a fruit basket or something too, but that may be a bit too much. We’ll see.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

health care

Well, I'm finally sick enough to get antibiotics. After resting and drinking my weight in orange juice several times over, I have developed walking pneumonia.

Score! I haven't ever had pneumonia before. The x-rays were cool, my right lung all cloudy and such. My boobs looked good though.

It just kills me that I have to wait to be sick enough to get treated. Preventative health care makes so much more sense to me than reactionary.

Happy girl now with Zithromax and cough syrup laced with Codeine. Ah, drugs take me away!!