Friday, March 31, 2006
I have been ruminating quite a bit about what all these stages are, and polling many of my friends. DTH guy and I are still canoodling after a month, and we have gone on more than three dates. (Dates defined as making a plan and doing something together, not falling into bed after happening to be at the same bar for an event.)
We have also moved into a comfortable assumption of time being spent together - that we will see each other again within five days kind of thing.
This puts us to stage two. "Seeing Each Other."
Although several people know his secret identity (he is part of one of the bar distros I am on, therefore was not a stranger at time of initial hook-up) we have still been keeping our interaction on the down-lo. As we are assuming that we will continue for the foreseeable future, we are being less stealthy. Not trying so hard to hide what we are doing.
Not that I ever really am good at hiding much of anything. I tend to share my life in minutia with anyone who will listen. Oops.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
The High Line is a long closed above ground rail system in Manhattan. It has been closed off to all public access for years, and thus has become overgrown and wild. And intriguingly cool.
While walking the city, all you see from below are rusted girders and chipped cememt. It looks like industrial waste. But from above? Paradise. A secret garden.
Ever since I have heard about this place my imagination and heart have been captured, my interest piqued. And now they are going to renovate to make it into a
Saturday, March 25, 2006
I have become a toucher.
For example, I will be in a meeting, and at some point I will have made a joke or engaged in a side comment to the person next to me, and then I reach out and touch their arm. Worse, often I touch it again ten or fifteen minutes later! Doesn't even matter who the person is, they could work with me, work in another department, or even be a vendor. It could be the most closed off, isolated, robotic person I know, and here I am invading their personal space.
What the hell am I doing???
This behavior has even extended outside of the boardroom. We are talking any time, anywhere. Elevator, bar, checkout line in the cafeteria, chance conversation on the subway platform, doesn't matter. A shoulder, the back, a tie, I see myself doing it like an out of body experience, all the time thinking "stop now! Don’t do it! No touching, leave them alone!!"
It worries me that I am creeping people out by doing this, but somehow it has become natural to me. I just don't want to be that freaky girl - the one who makes people uncomfortable by acting too familiar.
I wonder if this is some kind of mental backlash from working in a corporate environment too long. Argh, corporate life. They take away my sneakers and I become a social freak. Rock on.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
One would think the fear of hunger would give me pause, or even the abstinence from caffeine, but no. No, my real apprehension lies with upcoming bar nights.
Next week there lie not one or two, but THREE birthday celebrations. It is sad, but I really have grown to rely on alcohol as my social lubricant. Why is it I believe I’m funnier, smarter, and more suave after I imbibe a cocktail or two? It is not as if most of my life isn’t spent sober (really, it is) and I’m just as witty.
So this of all things will be my big challenge for this fast. The small one will be getting my brain back, as the lack of caffeine is officially making me stoopid. My poor brain is sluggish with no signs of kicking into action any time soon.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Yes, it was a big bag. Shoot me, it was 99 cents.
Monday, March 20, 2006
straight men locker room sex
quadruple amputee wwi basket case
pictures of ejaculation fluids
men in locker room
straight men locker room shower
I don't think that my target audience is being hit here...
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Must get back to bed, I brought someone home with me. DTH guy showed up at my bar of choice, for that I had to reward him with a sleepover! All my friends thought it was sweet. Tonight I get to hang with Seattle Girl, who is in town. YAAAAAAAAY!!!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
That's right, when I started drinking at the ripe old age of 16 I was hardcore into the Sun Country Coolers. You know, the orange flavor that came in the two liter. (If you are too young to know of this marvel, so sad for you damn whippersnapper.)
Eventually I graduated from the coolers to rum and cokes to vodka and kool aid to tequila sunrises to jack and coke to southern comfort and mountain dew. Note the constant combination of sugar to my alcohol. Quite important to give sugar to an overly energetic teen while drunk.
It was such a relief to turn 21. All of my friends were older, they had been allowed to purchase alcohol and even gain entry to bars while I was a sad sad underage girl left to my own devices and their mercies.
A mere month after I turned 21 I geared up for my first legal St Paddy’s day, and decided that not only would I hit a REAL Irish bar (the Old Shillelagh for those familiar with Detroit), but by god I WOULD DRINK BEER. And drink beer I did. I started off with Harp, and eventually even started to drink of the mother's milk Guinness. I started to enjoy it. Problem was, I did not take the necessary time to acclimate to this new delivery system of alcohol to my blood, and may have consumed a drink or two more quickly than I should have.
Thus my first ever blackout. Oh, the nostalgia. I don't remember getting home, hell I don't remember throwing up. My sister and mom made sure to inform me of such actions. You know, because they care.
Since that faithful day, I have always loved beer. I try not to black out every time I drink it though. Sometimes I fail, but that is no fun because if I forget everything than what do I have to blog about?
May your St Paddy’s day be joyous, and as my 100% Irish father would tell you, may your best day of last year be the worst of the next.
Even better, one of my favorite toasts:
In life, there are only two things to worry about, if you are well or if you are sick.
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about.
If you are sick, you only have two things to worry about, if you live or if you die.
If you live, you have nothing to worry about.
If you die, you only have two things to worry about, if you go to heaven or if you go to hell.
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about.
If you go to hell, it won’t matter – you’ll be too busy shaking the hands of all your friends to care!!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Awww yeah, I am that urban legend.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Today I ran a four-mile race in central park and had my best time ever, a 9:51 minute mile, net time for the race 39:25! It was 50 degrees, and raining. The park was still dead and cold from the winter, trees barren of life. None of that mattered, running felt natural and fluid, I was in the zone from beginning to end.
This time means more to me than a notch on a board, it says to me that I can finish the marathon in my goal of four and half hours or less. Honestly, my times have been so mediocre that I have had doubts. I still have to shave off a couple more minutes (I have to run a 10K with an average 9:35 mile) by July 3rd when my training regimen begins, but now I have that little piece of me that knows I can. For gods’ sake, how much faster alone when I knock of these last fifteen pounds? Like lightning, I tell ya.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Well I decided to go the trust my instincts, no recipe needed route. DTH guy is a self-proclaimed meat and potatoes guy, so I did meat and potatoes. I picked up the groceries, and made the following:
Cheese platter of gouda and parmesan romano
Antipasti of mixed olives
New york strip steaks with parmesan crust
Twice baked truffled mashed potatoes
Asparagus sautéed in ginger soy sauce
Finished with local bakery bought nut free brownies
Went off like a charm. He brought wine and flowers, so thoughtful and sweet. And the evening was perfect.
We talked, we laughed, and laughed some more. The conversation was delightful and flowing, no rough or awkward spots.
While grocery shopping I had a realization about why I had offered to make dinner, and later on I discussed with DTH guy. On our first date the previous Thursday, while picking up the check he had explained that he believed strongly in always paying the bill. It is more than just a traditional patriarchal ritual and more of the concept of treating me for the honor of my presence. Still sounds vaguely like prostitution, but I'll believe that's not the point.
Now, I happen to be a fiercely independent person, and have a very time asking for or even receiving anything. Someone buys me a drink at a bar; I buy them a drink and a shot. I just abhor the idea of being indebted to someone.
Knowing that any place we go he would pick up the check, how could I balance the scale? Cook dinner.
Yes, I have issues.
Upon realizing this, I came to terms with the idea that I will just have to learn to sit back and take it like a man. Pun intended. Since Saturday we went out two more times, and he came over last night after the Pisces bday party and spent the day with me today. In other words, things are going well. The more time we spend together, the more fun I am having with him, which is nice. We are officially to the canoodling stage of a relationship, in the rockstar dictionary. Soon I will post all the stages, just so ya'll can follow along accordingly.
And yes, he reads my blog. Keeps me honest.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Just got this email:
Thank you for attending our interview seminars earlier in the week!
At this time we would like to invite you back for a second smaller group interview.
The interview will be taking place at the ******* building, and according to the availability that you gave us on your survey, we'll see you on Wednesday, 3/15 at 5:00pm.
We look forward to speaking with you again!!
Woo hoo! Game on!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I was a tomboy growing up. When I was young my lack of femininity caused me insecurity and doubt in myself. It wasn’t until I got older that I learned that I not only am okay the way I am, I am pretty darn terrific. (I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me…)
Eventually I learned the skills and bought the products (oh, the products) to become girlie. Or at least cute. I learned how to walk in heels, became comfortable in stockings, even occasionally wear jewelry. But by nature the most definitive instinct that supposedly exists for a female is still lacking. I am lacking a maternal instinct.
You know how someone comes into a room with a newborn and all the women start cooing at the baby and touching the baby and want to hold the baby…yeah no. I don’t love the baby smell, I don’t sense a longing for a child of my own, I do not wonder at the miracle of birth.
When I was in my late teens and early twenties and people would ask about kids I would always say “I don’t want children. I’M NOT SAYING I WON’T CHANGE MY MIND… I’m saying I have never wanted any and have a feeling I never will. AND I KNOW NEVER TO SAY NEVER.”
I had to 1) add in the defensive bit and 2) to yell because they inevitably would say, quite condescendingly “Oh, you’ll change your mind.” They just never could believe I could know myself well enough to make that kind of a statement.
Lordy, I always hated that.
Now that I am in my thirties my lack of desire to have children is easier to discuss in the open. Occasionally people still misinterpret my disinterest as a loss of hope in ever being in the right situation by the time the ole’ biological clock runs out. These days the doubters are much less common. Possibly because as I have gotten older I have so much going on and my life is so full. Maybe too my situation is a little more readily accepted because of prominent women figures that are admired despite their childlessness. (Gloria Steinem, Oprah…)
Who knows. All I can say is I never understood the allure of vanilla, but sure do love my chocolate. And I am so glad to be alive in a day and age where I am not burned at a stake or stoned to death for my “unnatural” views.
Oh, was that a bright side? Doh.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I asked some questions, some that were too sensitive to answer to the general public, which makes me nervous. Overall I think that they will call me for the next step, the small group interview. It looks like I really am overqualified for most of the positions they are hiring for, which just breaks my heart. It would be like seeing into heaven and then slamming the gates in my face.
Hope springs eternal.
Off I go to post-funeral lunch/wake/drinkfest to admit that I am not as strong tolerance-wise as boasted last night. Humility rocks.
"bring it on tommorow biyatches, I'll kick all your sorry asses!!!!"
Referring to drinks at the wake the next day, would you worry?
Monday, March 06, 2006
Margaret B. Meegan
Born: November 27, 1921
Died: March 04, 2006
Services:Tuesday, March 7, 2006 at 9:30AM Immaculate
Visitation:Sunday 7-9PM Monday 2-4, 7-9PM
Margaret B. Meegan, nee O'Keefe, 84, died on March 4, 2006. Beloved wife of the late Joseph. Devoted mother of Peggy Dowd and her husband Pat, Joan Stabile and her husband Ray, the late Betty Ann Lubrino, Kathleen Cohn and her husband Walter and Grace Dellapi. Loving grandmother of seventeen. Cherished great grandmother of sixteen. Also surviving is Margaret's son-in-law, Ralph Lubrino. Friends may gather at Westchester Funeral Home, Inc., Eastchester on Sunday from 7-9 p.m. and Monday from 2-4 and 7-9 p.m. Mass of Christian Burial on Tuesday 9:30 a.m. at Immaculate Conception Church, Tuckahoe. Interment to follow at
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Amazing how much one work of art can be the catalyst to so much.
Another inspiration I recently had to which I am utterly dumbfounded occurred yesterday morning. When discussing our next encounter, I offered to cook dinner for DTH guy.
Wha??? What the hell came out of my mouth? It isn't that I can't cook, I can follow a recipe, and even doctor it to make it better. It is that I honestly believe that paying someone else to do all the work is so worth it. Now I have to go shopping, prep and cook the damn meal, and then clean up. Since I am a bright side person, I am already looking to the challenge and adventure of it all, as I of course cannot prepare anything I already know how to make. Don't be silly, what would be the fun in that?
Said encounter is tonight, so off I go to find a recipe and get this thing off the ground. Wish me luck.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
I was forwarded
The date is still on for tomorrow night, so if all goes well no post until Friday. Oh, the suspense. Can you handle it?