Tuesday, April 12, 2005


Today was a really full day. The first half I spent with my VP and director - my two bosses. The director,Ms Random, is okay, the VP, however, is a character. Somehow I have seen her inspire great depths of loyalty from the last two directors. Well, that is, until they each left. Both within my four and a half years of employment. Hmmmm.

Anyhoo, my current job has a future. I have been promised a promotion, increase of direct reports, and a good raise in four months time. Almost every day allusions are made to my increased responsibilities and long-term success.

Problem is, the longer I stay the more I have to put on the businesswoman facade, the less I can act freely and be myself. This has to be done to inspire confidence from the higher ups and the lower downs. It is very tiring.

So after spending a day with the nurturing VP with hopes and dreams of my future accomplishments (for her as well, on that note), I had an appointment to check out another job.

On the way to the job, I could feel the iron clad butterflies rattling around in my stomach. Fear. Trepidation. Anxiety. Not at interviewing, or potentially starting a new job. At very idea of telling the VP I was going to leave. How can one person's reaction have so much clout?

I took the test, and passed. Now on Saturday I go in to listen to the overview. If I am still interested, I set up an interview.

At least I can put off making a decision until Saturday afternoon. Ah, procrastination, a girl's best friend!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

could your fear of success and upward advancement in your current assignment bring upon feelings of fear - added responsibilities, a sense of commitment to the company, being tied down, loosing your freedom???
You have worked hard and earned this, should you run from it?