macrobiotics

So my company publishes this book, You Are What You Eat, and I was able to pick up a copy. It is a runaway best seller in the UK, that kind of thing always peaks my interest. Especially after my love for the British born Eats, Shoots & Leaves. I mean, I really never thought I could enjoy reading about punctuation, so why not give macrobiotics a whirl.

I thumb through, and the page that automatically opens starts with "Greasy stools that won't flush."

This does not bode well. But by god, I don't give up easy. I read on about how I should be eating more raw foods and seaweed. Flaxseed oil and lemon water. Detox and colonics. I'm wary, but hey, the body is one big science experiment, chemistry is for real and the author is surely on to something.

But wait - the book demands that I give up caffeine. I love how people swear that caffeine perpetuates the vicious cycle of being sleepy. They just don't realize that 1) I really am nocturnal and 2) I love stimulants but stick to the legal ones. Those things combined make me a very loyal coffee lover.

Errrrrr, I gave up smoking already, I think I'll skip the avocado milkshakes. Besides, for some reason I'd be a lot more embarrassed if someone at work caught me taking a couple teaspoons of flaxseed oil than if they found those compromising pictures of me on the internet. There is something innately uncool in studying your stool.