Wednesday, August 09, 2006

never enough

How much of a good thing exactly is too much?

Now you all know I am a lover of the alcohol. By far after caffeine it is my drug of choice. (You all tremble at how hard-core I am, don’t you?)

What if you had a friend who drank to excess every time you see them? We are talking not being able to stand up straight and always blacking out type of too much. Every time.

The imbibing does not cause this person to lose or endanger their job. Neither attendance nor performance suffers.

The thing is that living in NYC is not really the safest scenario, and when you get stupid drunk it is definitely a security issue. And then there is the question of what is the motivator to getting blasted so much? If someone drinks to relax or to socialize that seems acceptable, but if you know someone who is drinking to obliteration what are they running/hiding from? Is it a deep problem that they need to be facing? Is the ‘cure’ actually making the problem worse?

By my definition this person falls into the ‘problem’ category as opposed to ‘alcoholic’ one. But is the cure the same, does he or she have to hit rock bottom before they reform?

For me the most difficult part by far is my complete lack of control of the situation. Because by god people don’t take advice, they only will learn by experience. So here I am to sit back and watch the eventual decline and potentially some disaster befall my friend.

Honestly I am at the point where I dread going to social situations where this person attends due this kind of behavior. Am I being a better friend by not being a friend any more at all, or just caving into my own frustration at my inability to deal with this? Maybe this kind of tough love is in fact the only thing I can do. Who knows?

You would think I would have more experience with this kind of thing being Irish and all. Yet no, this is my first. No alcoholics in my close relations or problem drinkers in my history.

I still love alcohol though. Love the player hate the game.

1 comment:

jenn said...

i have had a friend or two like this. it is very stressful when it is a very close friend, like the one i had; if you have the option of avoiding being around that person when he/she is drunk by all means go for it. if you and this person have mutual friends and it is inevitable that you will be around this person when they drink, maybe it wouldn't hurt to drink slower and point out how quickly they are drinking? or perhaps call it an evening and then continue the festivities elsewhere on the sly? it's always best to let the person know, however, that they are drinking in excess and endangering themselves. they won't want to hear it, but it's better to come from a friend and be aware of the problem, rather than have a terrible experience be the crux of realizing their problem.