evolution

A long time ago deep down inside I became innately excited about change. I don't know how, but I was able to not only tolerate the inevitable shifting of tides, but look forward to them. When something is in transition I become awash in anticipation.

Yesterday I went through my interviews at another publisher, aided by a resume forward and spectacular review by ctina. It was a bit of a race, putting me with one then two then three than four people. As the day wore on I got a sense they were very happy with what I had to offer, and couldn't wait to get everyone's sign off on my candidacy.

Last night, anticipating a job offer, I touched base with RFW and Seattle Girl. Their message could not be clearer - get the hell out. RFW even reflected some advice I have been known to give back to me. That my relationship with my boss is like that of a girl with an abusive boyfriend. You get beat down, but then the honeymoon period following spurs forgiveness and forgetfulness. Also a false hope of change for the future. My boss is wooing me now, but after five years with me and over twenty in the industry, how much can she really change?

This being realized, I got the job offer this morning. More consultations with ctina and Seattle Girl ensued, but my path is clear.

It is time to leave the mighty bird.

At the point I realized my final decision I became sad. Surprisingly. But then I realized that I have been with this company as long as I have been in NYC. This is the most significant change I will experience since actually moving here. And suddenly with that I became stressed as well.

Tomorrow morning I will give my notice, determining my last day. Often over the years I have daydreamed about my goodbye party, and what a great time it will be. Shockingly in reality I'm not quite so thrilled as of yet.

An object in motion tends to stay in motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. And while at rest all kinds of lichen and moss grows, the ground sinks, and sediment gathers. The object becomes even harder to move. Having been at this company for five years in effect makes the anchor more difficult to lift.

Fortunately I know that in the near future I will be thankful to get my life in motion again. Change begets more change. Which in the end gives me thrills because I love how the story of my life is unfolding, and I am grateful for the continuing changes in plot.