wanderlust

It's been almost three years for me in this apartment, and I've been itching to make a move.

For the size and location of my apartment I have a really great deal. I know this. It has enough space for my stuff and for guests to stay the night. It is close enough to work that I walk every day. (LOVE THIS) There are tons and tons of bars and restaurants right off my front stoop. Merely a fifteen minute walk to Central Park, my running path of choice.

Of course there are some things I am not a fan of. Like having to walk up the stairs to the fifth floor. Not having packages delivered to my apartment because there is no one to sign for them. Having no laundry in the building so I drop it off with a wash n fold place.

All of these things that I complain of are totally normal, everyday compromises that come from New York living. Not really bitchin, just taking stock

So the question comes up - my next move, do I continue to rent or make the big move of buying a place? Having equity. Ooooooh responsible investing.

The really interesting thing is that I started to write this post last week. And today, for the first time since I moved here, I got notice of my rent increasing. Not by much, only $100 a month. Not bad since I lived increase-free for the last three years. Nice timing.

Honestly, to buy a place at this time I would have to leave the borough of Manhattan. God, even the idea of financial security can't pull me away at this point. Guess I'll have to start bucking up for those broker and moving fees for another rental.

Anyone know of any good one-bedroom apts on the west side opening up? I'd really like an elevator this time around...

stupid sephora

Sephora got me sick. Or at least playing with all the pretty pretty makeup did.

I actually had to leave work early Thursday because of it. Do you know what it takes for me to leave work early? Near death.

Or extreme nausea.

Thursday I woke up with a killer cold, but that I can power thru with a little medication. But around 10:15, in the middle of a meeting, it started to hit.

You know that nausea where you feel the gurgle and then you break out into a cold sweat? Oh yeah. Luckily I didn't have too much to add in this gathering so I was able to practice deep breaths and concentration to keep myself in check.

Next meeting I had to run, so I found my sweet relief with some sprite. Sprite, the nectar of gods to anti-blowing chunks.

Unfortunately the nectar's abilities were short lived. Around noon I was under my desk hoping that a quick lay down would calm down the rumblings.

Not so much.

So I had to bail. Get myself home to the sanctity of my apartment to avoid any public, er, eruptions.

Two and a half days of drugs and sleep later I feel back up to par. But now I'm worried about my half marathon this week. I was really stressed and busy last week so didn't run at all, which is bad-bad-bad. Not running for a whole week worries me. Can I even do the damn thing?

Seriously, I'm considering not doing it if the temperature is going to be above 80. Because why put myself through that? I don't have anything to prove. And the not running for a week thing really worries me too.

We'll see. Decisions decisions.

love and loss

Finished it! Loved it! I laughed, I cried (about once every third chapter), I was enthralled.

But now there is such a sense of loss. I mean, it is all over now isn't it? Seventh and final book. Story arc has come to an end.

Whenever I do this, read a book so quickly because it is so good I just can't put it down, I always ask myself once it is done, "Why didn't I read it slower? Savor it?"

To no avail. When I a story it I immerse myself in it. Something like this of course is a bit special, because I was terrified of spoilers. For frickity sake I work in children's book publishing. Multiply usual spoiler issues by fifty.

So after the joy of the story comes the mourning that it is over.

Now what do I do? Cleaning my apartment seems so mundane after living the last 24 or so hours in Potter world. *Sigh*

temptation

It has been so very, very hard not to read the spoilers about the new Harry Potter.

Against all odds, all of my natural instincts, I have resisted.

Best news ever? I don't have to travel as far as I thought to get my book. Seems the Virgin Mega Store in Times Square will be open until 1am selling the book. Forget me walking half a mile to Columbus Circle.

No worries, I won't spoil it for you all. The real question is...will I finish this in less time than the last?

Does not matter. You know why?

Like life, it is the path you take that fulfills, not the destination. Bring it.

thrill-a-minute

Do you know what I just did to put a little adventure in my day? The idea that got me smiling and giddy, just to test something out and try something new?

Adventure taker that I am...

I went and got a SECOND cup of coffee to drink in a row. And I'm not even tired. Just doing it to see how much fun my job is on extra caffeine.

LIVING. ON. THE EDGE.

irony

I am a big frickity-frackity chicken. Over the last week and a half I have been emailing a guy from match. His profile is great, he's cute, the whole nine. But then it comes to phone time.

*freeze*

What, me talk on the phone? Work without visual stimuli to aid in my response? Ugh, I hate it. I prefer email that has NO visual cues or in person which is entirely reaction-based.

So here I am, stymie-ing this (seemingly) great guy because I can't quite get across how much of a phone talker I am not. Seriously, when I have tried to explain thus far he just says give him my number and he'll call. Which for ANYONE else would totally make sense, because NORMAL people only worry about first contact.

Not that I aspire to be normal, but in online dating the whole phone step is kind of necessary.

(Here is where I admit this is maybe the fourth time in the last couple I have gotten this far and then...*crickets*)

But I like this one a little better than the others. So I'm going to just see if we can skip to the meeting part. Is that wrong, to make someone have to change a pattern to deal with a quirk? Or is that the most honest up front thing you can do?

In case you don't get the irony - you didn't know that I just spent a kajillion dollars on this fancy new iphone (Mookie) which I love for every other but its main use.

testosterone

One of my favorite episodes of This American Life is the one about testosterone. Really, it is just brilliant. My favorite bit is when the staff ends up testing their levels of the hormone. So entertaining, but more importantly enlightening. Makes you look at people in a whole new way, as in how much of who we are and what we do comes down to the secretion of a gland or two?

Today I finished reading The Sun Also Rises by Hemmingway and then watched Fletch and Fight Club.

Honestly, I only really get Fight Club. It is smart and has a brilliant twist. And Edward Norton is an amazing actor. I would totally do him over Brad Pitt. If I had a choice. Because that is SO likely. But I digress.

Back to today’s events - I kind of get Hemmingway.

Okay, not really. I have tried reading his short stories about hunting and bull fighting. They just don't seem all that interesting. The Old Man and the Sea was good. I think. As a really in depth metaphor.

As for Fletch? Frankly my dear I didn't give a frick. It didn't strike me as so funny. Maybe because I'm twenty years out of context or have never really had a problem not recognizing the quotes.

I write about this because it kind of ticks me off. It bothers me that I can't get that perspective, that I can't empathize. Why the heck not? It isn't like I am a stereotypical girl in any way, but I understand those who are. And I totally understand most unstereotypical guys. But when it comes down to the most testosterone-y of men I just can't relate.

But then again do I really want to?

If I did I suppose I could try to join an armed force. Talk about immersing yourself in it. I did try applying to the FBI the other day. They turned me down because I had smoked pot within the last three years. So maybe I'll try again in a couple of months...

fuzz

Today I laughed a lot.

Last night I went out on the town with Spaghetti, the Jeweled Hornet, and some Jersey girl love. We hit a bar downtown and had a few martinis and even more fun.

This morning I had a mini-hangover. At this point in my life the type of hangover where I wake up and think, "thank god this is it". Dehydrated, a little tired, and that soft fog that settles over the brain.

Fortuitously last night I stopped drinking fairly early because I knew how crazy today would be. Lots of meetings and plenty of me acting and reacting. This was the kind of day where you have to be nimble, on the balls of your feet because you need to shift direction often and well.

And oh, did I.

In a normal day I always...ALWAYS have something playing in the background. NPR or my ipod most of the time. If it is too quiet I get restless and distracted.

Which is what made today so interesting. The hangover provided a natural background buzz. This was a day where I was on my game, floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.

The real surprise came from how much more I enjoyed life. I was more relaxed, just let life wash over me a little bit more. By god I think everyone appreciated my good mood.

It is one thing to be a happy drunk, but a happy hangover? Who knew?

adventures in movie going

The last holiday week was just jam-packed with cinema. One of the handy-dandy things about being single and childless is when I have time off I can indulge in all kinds of things I like. Such as MOVIES.

Last weekend, bought Sean of the Dead. Watched it about ten times. Briliant. Of course.

On July 4th saw Ratatouille with Spaghetti. Pixar did a great job again. Not my favorite of theirs but well worth viewing. The computer animation just gets better and better.

Then I made a little trip to Virgin Records in Times Square - since it is so far away from me (note two blocks) - and bought two mega faves. Fight Club and Bring It On. Because everyone buys those two movies at once.

Finally, yesterday I say Transformers with Thighs. Dude. It was awesome. No, I never watched the cartoon. Didn't matter. I found myself in one of various "oh my god" positions many times. As in a kick ass scene happens and your jaw drops...but the intensity isn't over so it stays open. And then five minutes later you realize the mouth should be closed. Two and a half hours should be too long for an action flick. But it wasn't.

Just to round the holiday week out, I looked over my blogs from two years ago. Here I am feeling stagnant in my life and I had accomplished HALF of the major goals I had laid out. Why is it so easy to forget the wins and remember the losses?

Interesting what order I listed them in and what order they were accomplished in though. Kind of makes one wonder - what do you think you want and what do you really need?

sunlight

My apartment is south facing and gets a ton of light. Really I am lucky in that way, which despite the proliferation of tall buildings being erected in my neighborhood I get so much unfiltered light.

One morning, noticing how bright of a day it was, I decided I should wear sunglasses on my walk to work.

I exited my apartment in sunlight. Walked ten yards.... and experienced about twenty more yards TOTAL of direct sunlight on my half-mile walk to work.

Literally, a corner here and a short stretch there. My walk to work consists of indirect light. The sunglasses were a moot point. Not that I mind, I am a pale person prone to sunburn. And I also firmly believed, based on my extensive running outdoors, that the sunlight drains my energy.

Just because sunlight makes the world exist doesn't mean I need to soak it in myself. Sweet ironies of life.

nostalgia

Having watched that damn High School Musical so many times has got me thinking about my own high school life.

Being 35 it has been a pretty long time since my wonder years. In many ways my life has shaped up in the way I dreamed it would. Living an independent metropolitan life, successful and surrounded by interesting and diverse friends.

What I wonder about is the level that my expectations have now risen to. What do I want from myself now?

When I was in my senior year I was out of school every day at 12:35. I had my own car, worked part time at Pizza Hut as a cook, and was the treasurer of the Drama Club acting as second in charge to the stage crew.

My friends and I were drinkers, but racking my brain I don't remember drinking on school nights. During the week we just had good clean fun. And I do mean squeaky-clean. I didn't lose my virginity until college and ditto for drugs.

But I did hand out with friends during the week. Reminiscing I had so much fun, and I suppose in a way it is sad that looking back now it takes so much effort to figure out how we kept ourselves entertained without drinking. Nowadays I talk to friends about going out and the bar is the focal point nine times out of ten.

What I do know is as a teenager we spent of time just...being together. We hung out. Didn't watch TV (except for our one afternoon soap opera.), didn't really go see movies. Literally just finding company to be out of the house was enough. And it was brilliant fun.

Back then hanging out doing absolutely nothing was totally enough. Now everything has to have a destination or a purpose. At least to motivate me to want to come out. I think I'm going to work on that. Just being, enjoying the company of others should be enough.

That being said, here are the pics from my last purpose-driven outing - last Saturday at the Astoria Beer Garden to celebrate the engagement of Ron and Erica. Awesome couple, awesome time.

Pics were taken by iPhone, who has from here on out been deemed the nickname Mookie.

overkill

I was kind of excited with the first trailer.

The second also rocked my world.

By the third I thought there could be no more. What other funny bits could there be???

Yet here we are, the fourth trailer has been released. And by god I'm still laughing. Damn they're good.