out of office

Back to the dating files.  Seems 2009 is my year of dating via chemistry.com.

Early August I met someone, we'll call him Drama since he's a playwright/actor.  We hit it off really well at the start.  He was really attentive and affectionate, just the way I like 'em.  When we would go out on dates he would ask "when can I see you again" and I'd get at least one email or text a day. 

Sappy sweet.  So my speed.

Thus I was really excited.  Hell, I even went out and bought some new clothes for our dates.  Which I NEVER do. 

Next all of a sudden Drama got busy.  Really busy.  His day job started throwing projects at him that ate up his weekend and the play that he wrote and was acting in was heading into heavy rehearsals. 

Since we had such a good couple of weeks I was all supportive.  "Sure I understand you are busy, I've been busy before."  But then time moved on.  We only saw each other for an occasional booty call.  No catch up before, a sleep over and then a see ya later.

Then there were the daily emails.  Our fun frequent email exchanges came down to one a day from him asking how I was.  I of course would write back some details and funny stories.  Witty banter.  Then when I asked about his day it was always "busy and tired".

Seriously, I was dating an out of office message for three weeks.  Same thing, over and over.  The response varied in grammar but that is about it.

Listen, I do get being booked and having a lot going on.  But seriously with that much going on isn't there something, ANYTHING to talk about?  At least for me there is.  Activity gets the gears a'turnin, motivates ideas and inspiration.  Gives new perspective and insight.

In a last ditch effort I told him I was tired of dating via email.  So he agreed to go on a date...to see a movie.  The conversation was the same out of office message, saw the movie, then he wanted to hook up.

Oh no.  It doesn't work like that.  At least not for me.  I want someone who is interested in what I have going on and has interesting thing of their own to share.  So that was the end of that. 

On the bright side whatever that was - busy or not that into me - it was my favorite breakup of the year.  All it took was me not returning one email and one text and not reaching out on my own.  No confrontation no issues.  Love it.

Yes I may be a wuss when it comes to breaking up, but when it works out to my favor then I'm much more interested in continuing my dating streak.  Because next time instead of having a breakup made for me I'll have a relationship made for me instead.  Nice.

livin' raw

Okay, I have decided to take a leap. I am going to live raw for a while.


Over the detox I already talked about how awesome I felt by dipping my toe into the raw diet world. Well I've been eating more and more 'normal' foods since then and while my energy is still totally at a high compared to pre-detox I'm not feeling quite as spectacular.


So I 'm going to do it. But with a few rules.


No preachiness. This is how I'm going to eat for a while, that's all. We'll see how long I can go at work and in life just making raw choices and not calling attention to a food lifestyle. I vow not to bring it up as a topic of conversation. If someone asks about it I'll gladly explain, but I'm not going to make this a thing. My blog is the best place to talk this all out, so people can turn away if they are not interested.


Flexibility. If I'm at a party or out to dinner with friends I will eat normally. That means sharing regular appetizers and partaking in cooked foods. If you don't count snacks there are 21 meals in a week, if one or two of those are not raw the benefits of my diet won't be lost. Eating with friends has social and cultural repercussions that I believe are very important and I don't want to miss out on.


Real world. Where I'm still not drinking coffee I'm going to drink tea. And while wine is considered a raw food (never heated over 120 degrees) I will still enjoy a beer or two. Or ten, since you all know me. The idea of this lifestyle is to rotate my meals and snacks around being raw, there are going to be foods and drinks that I still want to consume, and so I will. Thus I'm not 100% raw, the percentage is yet to be seen but I'm aiming for 75%-90% for now.


It won't be hard to make this transition; most of the food in my pantry is unprocessed. I had eaten, given away, or thrown out all the prepared food weeks ago. The biggest commitment I had to make was investing in a good food processor. So I went whole hog and bought the Cuisinart elite die-cast 12 cup that has the additional 4-cup bowl included.

Isn't it pretty? When on the detoxing I was buying my food prepared, but four bucks for a single serving of carrot raisin salad when I could make five servings for the same price doesn't make sense.
Besides, I've always wanted to make my own pesto and hummus. And it works as a blender too, so I can have smoothies all the time! 

*Joy*


Should this be a lifestyle that I end up embracing for a while I'll have to get a dehydrator next. I bought a recipe book and while there are tons of tasty meals I can make with my new toy above, it seems a dehydrator is a key tool in food preparation for living raw. But we'll cross that road when we get to it.

Off I go to buy my groceries for the week! I wonder if it will be cheaper to live off of produce as opposed to processed foods. We'll see.

gentle nudge

Just in case I was considering rolling over in bed this morning and skipping out on running...the jackhammer stepped in and guided me back to the virtuous path.

All new yorkers have had to live through this. Most likely more than once. Being woken in the morning by the dulcet sounds of a jackhammer pounding away. During the week the official start time is 7:00 am, and out of kindness to us poor corporate schmucks they don't start on Saturdays until 8:00 am.

How generous of them right??

One time out of spite I decided I would not let the relentless drilling outside my window disturb my beauty sleep. After being rudely woken from my slumber I ran around my apartment to find the earplugs I had bought for an international flight and never used. Once found I stuffed them in my ears.

And could still hear the roadwork.

So then I wrapped my head in a blanket and put pillows right next to either ear. While not completely blocking out the sound I was able to get back to sleep for probably another half hour.

Yeah, I showed them.

living caffeine free

Yes, you did read that post title correctly. I, Bridget Rockstar, have been living caffeine free since August 5th. That would be seven weeks for those of you counting.

Okay let me qualify that a bit. I have had coffee twice in that time after the actual detox. Quite tasty java sent to me by my cousin Cath and her girly-friend Heath from a Portland coffee house. But both times were on the weekend for no other reason but the enjoyment of really good coffee. Not the drug effects.

Two months ago I never thought I would be able to function without caffeine. A couple of times I tried to power through without my coffee or red bull, only to feel like I was walking underwater with my brain in a fog. Not fun and not conducive to getting work done.

Yet here I am working at top capacity every day without my regular cup (or six) of joe.

Oh, and don't think I've been tempted! If I had one too many the night before or am in the middle of a really stressful day I totally crave a cuppa. But having held on this long makes me think I could have quite possibly kicked the habit for good.

First smoking, now coffee. What's next??

okay, if I HAVE to...

My iphone lost the ability to ring.

Not from old age, but from me being a klutz and dropping it all the time. Specifically the silencer button on the side of the phone broke, leaving it on quiet for all eternity.

Indeed I made an effort, scheduling a mac bar appointment and visiting the genius. But sadly this little switch on the side cannot be replaced. The choice was simple - live with no auditory notice of phone calls or text messages or buy a new phone.

Darn. (Not)

So yay I have a new iphone! The 3GS of course with a whopping 32GB of memory. For the first time since I have had an ipod my entire music library can come along with me for the ride.

*joy*

Watch out world, rockstar now comes with video!

fat lip

This is just a really fun fact about rockstar.

Well, I don't know about fun. Maybe oddly interesting? Or the weird kinda gross where you can't look away?

Either way…to my story. In general when I break out with acne I don't tend to get those little pimples. Oh no, I get the massive under the skin cysts that bulge and grow and take two weeks to go away.

When I'm REALLY lucky one will start on my chin about a quarter of an inch below my lower lip...and give me a fat lip.

Seriously.

Take this morning for example. I woke up to the left side of my bottom lip being swollen - resulting in its being about a half an inch higher than the right side. The zit on the chin isn't puffy, for some reason since there is so little to the face in that area the swelling goes up instead of out.

In the past I've gone the positive route and assumed that no one really notices. I mean, how much can a pimple really do to my mouth??

Enough I suppose. People can totally see the difference. Last time it happened as soon as one of my employees saw me he asked me about it. Understandable. It was a fat lip. Anyone would want to know if I had acquired the swelling by knocking myself on something. Or gotten in a bar fight. Or fallen on my face while trying to hit a punching bag.

But I digress. When it happens it is noticeable. So I wake up and desperately ice the damn blemish and take three Advil in hopes the anti-inflammatory action takes effect enough to help the swelling go down by the time I get to work.

Good times.

That's all really, just part of my life. Just thought you'd enjoy the share. Happy Monday!

they had to go there

New York City is littered with advertisements for the new ABC fall season of sitcoms. They are plastered all over subway cars and bus stops, you can't go anywhere without a reminder that they've got these shows.

And every time I see one I find myself uncontrollably rolling my eyes. Just seeing the add makes me cringe.

For what show you ask? Oh, Cougar Town.

Some show starring Courtney Cox as a recently divorced 40 something "getting herself back out there" so she doesn't "shrivel up and die".

Honestly I'm trying to pinpoint why I find the entire premise of the show so insulting. Is it the double standard that a woman in her forties dating younger men is entertainment but reverse the genders and it is romantic?

Maybe it is that I feel that I am the target market and I utterly don't relate or don't care about this material. Which makes me feel like I'm being sold to which we all know is annoying.

Quite possibly it is also a little that if this show was to work for me it would have to be an actress who was more...relatable. Human. Courtney Cox seems kind of plastic and awkward. And not in a good way.

Whatever it is I am curious to see if my reactions translate to Middle America. Being a single never married woman living in NYC makes me kind of a smaller demographic. Is it possible housewives in Idaho dream of jumping into the dating pool again looking like Monica from friends?

Guess we'll see soon enough.

damn you HBO!

The other day I watched the documentary Youth Knows No Pain on HBO.

This movie follows the 38-year-old woman as she investigates the anti-aging markets of the USA. Everything from the effectiveness of creams and serums to the efficacy of injectibles and eventually surgical procedures. She interviews people who use the methods as well as the people who create the products and the doctors who administer them.

Why in gods name did I watch the damn thing? What was I thinking?

It was done well; I have to admit that at least. The problem is that the lead Mitch McCabe in the film is a year older than me and of course obsessed with looking old. She scrutinized herself and everyone around her in such detail that now I'm looking in whole new places for signs of aging. After an hour of watching all I could think was "If she is my age and really needs to have work done, I must too! What am I not seeing?"

Oh paranoia, my good friend. Prior to viewing this film I had exercised my own little efforts to maintain a youthful appearance. I wear bangs to hide my forehead and regularly exfoliate and moisturize to prevent any eye or lip wrinkles. (Years of smoking may have prematurely started pucker lines.)

But wait! There are other signs of aging! The fat in your face moves south, making the top of your face thinner and creating those howdy-doody jowl lines. Now all of a sudden THIS is the most noticeable sign of age I see on others. And the only place I look when I catch myself in the mirror.

At this point I'm actually considering injectables. The only thing really stopping me is the concern that once you start you can’t stop, that you need to maintain. That would be a pain in the arse.

Okay I lie; the maintenance isn’t the only thing stopping me. With the detox I dropped some pounds, and I’m still losing weight. I’m also kinda hoping that if I keep on getting thinner I’ll lose some of the fat from my face. Thus looking younger.

So we’ll see what wins. Gained confidence from being thinner or neurosis about looking my age.

After going the whole detox – all natural route I’m guessing the former.

so frickin' close

Today I ran the Fitness Mind, Body Spirit Games 4 mile race sponsored by the New York Road Runners, and completed the race in 38:18 averaging 9:34 a mile.

Just shy of my personal record. By how much you ask?

Three seconds. Three goddamn seconds.

Seriously, if I had just dug down a little deeper at the end and gotten a good sprint I would have had a new PR!!

And then also would probably have puked. I was on the edge of vomiting already; the last several yards were up a steep hill. Bastards had to go and plan the race that way.

Okay I totally know that I should be reveling in such an amazing accomplishment. Yeah, I am aware that I am totally lucky to be back running again after having my knee surgery and that getting this speed improvement is a bonus.

But runners don't work that way. We want to do better. And when we do hit a new best we look at what we did wrong so we can go even faster the next time. You may be running a race but your main competitor is yourself.

That's one of the reasons so many people will run more than one marathon. Twenty-six point two miles offers endless opportunities to make improvements. After completing the race all you do is look back at oh so many choices you could have made differently.

It is ironic that in my life this is the only thing I really allow myself to "what if" over. My life choices have molded me, and since I like who I am this makes me grateful for my experiences.

Guess I’ll be adding more hill work to my running schedule for that next race…

how easy are you?

Exactly how does one define being a high or low maintenance girlfriend?

Ah, the age old question. As a relatively low-maintenance friend I'd like to say that it translates to dating. But I'm afraid I'm pretty good at looking subjectively at myself and I've decided I am in fact high maintenance.

*Sigh*

It is tricky because I’m not sure how I would define the lower spectrum. As far as I'm concerned I know that I need a lot of affection and attention.

A lot.

The level of flattery of course has to be much more significant in the beginning of a relationship than later on. Just because I like a lot of proof. I need to be reminded often that I am very high on the priority list of the guy I am dating. If the guy I'm seeing isn't dying to know about my day and showering me with compliments at least once every 24 hours I'm so done.

Now you are totally agreeing that I'm not easy to date right?

So if I had to define low maintenance? Okay with a shout out on a busy day. Fine with only going on a date once a week if it is a busy time of year. Doesn't start a fight in public. Not made jealous by a simple conversation with a single girl. Only expects gifts on special occasions, and when a gift is given it doesn’t have to be extravagant.

Granted I'm only needy for attention, not the jealous and argumentative type. Thus I am relieved to believe on the scale of difficulty I'm only medium hard to date.

That's kind of comforting I suppose. I do have to wonder what other tricky girlfriend traits I didn't list however…

conspiracy theory

If you live in NYC and are a fan of Central Park you may have heard about the storm on August 18th.

Supposedly this was the worst storm in park history. At this time the fallen and badly damaged tree count is up to 400, which is a frickin lot of trees.

What strikes me as odd is how localized this destruction was. All this damage occurred north of 95th street, and the park only goes to 110th st. And it all happened in a half an hour.

No damage occurred lower in the park, and no buildings around the north part of the park were afflicted.

Stranger and stranger, right??? After the storm you couldn't walk 50 feet without seeing HUGE trees lying fallen on the ground.

So here is what I'm thinking. No way was a storm that localized. NO WAY.

It was aliens. Like a skirmish broke out with the real men in black.

Okay, or maybe it was a Godzilla type monster war. Some kind of large mutant creature fight that broke out and trees were stepped on and knocked askew.

Oooh! Or it was a wizard fight! Like the death eaters vs. the order of the phoenix!! All those spells flying helter skelter felled some timber.

One of these ideas has to be right. I’m sure there is some cover up about what really happened.

Best of all? The huge piles of wood chips currently hanging out in the park. They smell awful, not at all like normally fragrant shredded wood. Methinks there may be a dead alien corpse or some such hidden under there.

Seriously.

hijinx

Wow, what a weekend.

Last minute this week Hools and I set up some Labor Day weekend plans.

Saturday was to be tubing down the Delaware River followed by wine tasting with Urban Adventures. Sunday would be a trip to Coney Island checking out the aquarium and then a Cyclones game.

The urban adventure went exactly as planned - and was perfect. Ideal weather, incredibly friendly and fun staff, and an altogether perfectly planned and executed outing. This company has only been around 14 months and I have to say the entire day was so impressive Hools and I are chomping at the bit to sign up for our next adventure "out of the bubble".

Maybe Shootin and Drinkin?

Course I've never really been a whiskey drinker. I think maybe this is more my speed.

Sunday on the other hand did not turn out as planned at all. But ended up being spectacular in entirely other ways.

The day started out sunny and warm, and then the wind kicked up. Holy mother of god sand was blowing everywhere! This caused a mad rush to the aquarium and a line that looked a good half-hour long. So we put the kybosh on that one.

Luckily my favorite thing to do in Coney Island - visiting the freaks at the sideshow - was wide open. We fortuitously arrived just as the show was starting and before the rush. Then we hung out at the freak bar and had a couple of brews before heading over to the Cyclone ball field.

Which was frickin cold. That wind was carrying some very cool fall temperatures and despite the fact I had purchased TWO shirts I was freezing. We did last three beers and eight innings like true troopers though. Then headed back for the city on a search for a nice bar.

And boy did we find it. We stopped at Hibernia, formerly known as the Electric Banana. Remodeled and under new management it seems to have built quite a fun and social community. They had arranged a Met game outing and quite a few clientele returned to the bar afterward to continue the party. And they were sociable. We talked to so many people and had so many laughs, even had a shot or two.

Oh, and I drank a shot out of my shoe.

Yeah.

Some of the regulars were saying that on your birthday there was a stiletto behind the bar that they make you do a shot out of. When I asked the bartender about this tradition he requested that I hand over my flip-flop. You know, the one I wore all day walking around the windy sandy Coney Island and then the subway and the city. So I did.

And then he took a bottle of jagermeister and started pouring some down my flip-flop. Without even thinking...

Yeah I drank out of my nasty disgusting shoe.

Then sat in shock for like ten minutes at what I had done. Obviously I am very susceptible to suggestion. My god, who am I??

Best part? Like a half hour later I did another shot out of my other shoe. And when there was a little jager left in my heel the bartender finished it off.

Awesome. Simply awesome. I think this is my new favorite bar.

side effects

Odd. Last night I had beer and pizza. That would be reintroducing gluten, alcohol, dairy, and processed meat. (sausage on the pizza.)

Talk about really bringing it on.

Today my guts feel fine. I had a lot of beer so am a little hung over, but still feel the renewed energy from the detox. So far one night of debauchery my body can process, awesome news!

But back to the odd. The one thing that is different? I'm back to biting my nails. For the last few weeks I just didn't feel like it, I have some beer and pizza and the old habit just starts back up.

What is that??

self perception

For the last two years I had convinced myself that I have a weak chin.

This is something that never even hit my radar in my 20's. Thus it came as quite a shock to suddenly see that in all my pics my chin just disappeared.

So I started paying more attention to my poses in photographs. Tilt the head, chin up, keep neck straight. In important meetings I made an effort to keep my posture up as well, doing my best to keep my chin as pronounced as possible.

As I mentioned this detox has helped me shed a few pounds. And guess what. My chin is back.

All along I had a double chin. Damn you fat fairy!! It snuck up on me somewhere, those extra couple inches of adipose tissue.

It makes sense to me now, being that I never was so self conscious of my chin when I was younger. But isn't it odd how I deceived myself that it was a permanent flaw instead of a correctable one? Or maybe resigned myself that it was something that was more noticeable with age as opposed to more noticeable with heft?

Guess it just goes to show - I really show weight gain in my face. Lucky me. But good to note for the future.

Now I wonder if I lose five more pounds if I’ll look five years younger, less wrinkles? Talk about motivation to diet!

boyfriend shuffle

What the heck do I want from a boyfriend?

God, I ask myself that question all the time. Well maybe not all the time, just when I think about dating.

A few months ago I asked Ctina the purpose to having a significant other, and she had a pretty good response. To have a number 1. Your automatic reliable fall back person. The one who you run to first with good news or who will pick you up when you are down. (Or in my mind picks you up when you have outpatient surgery.)

That I get. It works with the logic of my life because I've always had a really wonderful network of friends who I rely on for these things, thus my drive for a designated No 1 is lessened.

But what do I actually want from someone I'm seeing? Ugh, that's hard to pin down. Looking at how I've dated lately helps.

Basics include: smart, funny, accepting of alternative lifestyles, good in social situations, moral but not religious, ambitious about some life path, attractive. Oh, and let's not forget the most important - he has to be into me. That's a biggie.

Guy number one this year (we'll call him Mr. Magazine because of where he worked) was smart, funny, and cute. He had the geeky glasses and casual clothing look I go for (aka Rivers Cuomo), and was really up on his current events. We had a good time hanging out.

With Mr. Magazine sadly there wasn't chemistry. We didn't really have a burning desire to spend time together, and the bedroom was more robotic than passionate. So that only lasted about a month.

Fella number two (we'll call him Mr. Layoff since he was laid off of work the day of our first date) was sweet, attentive, and cuddly. He was really into indie music which works for me because I love seeing live bands in small venues, and constantly was emailing me and texting me sweet nothings. Which incidentally I discovered that I really enjoy. At least for the first several weeks.

Unfortunately Mr. Layoff didn't add much to conversation, and my desire to spend time with him fell well below the radar. And where the bedroom was much more passionate at first the frequency of the passion became almost nonexistent right away. We dated for six weeks and there was one night he came over to watch a movie and then slept over - and we barely made out!

No chemistry after all, that had to end.

So I definitely have learned something to put on my 'yes and no' list for dating.

Lust vs. real chemistry.

Sex driven lust is fun and will get you through several dates if the guy qualifies for boyfriend potential. And if the bedroom escapades are really hot then it may last more than a couple dates.

But it is really about the chemistry, that thing that makes you just want to be in the same room as the other person as much as possible. Without that the relationship is doomed.

Now I just need to come up with some kind of gauge to tell the difference.