Friday, June 17, 2005

full circle

When I started working for my company four and a half years ago, I directly reported to two people. One wanted to be my mother, and the other wanted to be my drill sergeant. It was hard moving to NYC, having two new and different jobs, learning so much so quickly. Challenging, yes, stressful, definitely.

The drill sergeant was hard to work for; she was definitely not a people person. She worked me so hard that after five months in her employ I was a crying hysterical mess. The day I wrote my resignation letter I got offered a better position in the department, completely by chance. I took the job in a heartbeat.

In the throws of reacting to the drill sergeant, I swore that I would prove to her that she was flawed, that I was so good that one day I would be her boss. And then she'd suffer. Oh yeah. Revenge loomed in my mind. I could not wait until the day that I would treat her like she had treated me. To this day she is the only person ever to tell me that I was dumb and had no common sense. People may think as me as being boisterous, inclined to drink, even flighty. But though all of that my intelligence has never been in doubt.

Four years later, I am now her boss. It did not take me as long as one would have thought. But revenge is the last thing on my mind. That is the beautiful irony. In order to do my job well, I need to support her and watch her back. I need to help her, nurture her, and show her how to stop being a drill sergeant to the rest of the world.

She still treats people as badly as she used to treat me, so I have my work cut out for me. Every ounce of angst and anger I felt to her has to be now turned into compassion and understanding. Life is funny that way, or at least mine is. No matter what I do, I come back to having to forgive those who have wronged me and help them in turn. Maybe my recognition of that fact is why I have been so successful. At the very least it is how I am able to be a happy person, always in good spirits. My conscience is clear.

Next week, Monday, my promotion is announced. For now I am proud and excited, and will spend the whole weekend celebrating. Yay for publishing half day Fridays!!

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