Sunday, January 20, 2008

fictional science part deux

Oh Fat Fairy, nemesis of mine. You cunning minx.

Another of your tricks has been revealed to me.

Just like any weight-obsessed American Woman, every day pre or post shower I carefully inspect my body for any potential weight gain (on a good day weight loss.)

Week over week things have remained the same. No extra rolls, no new body shape. That line down my abdomen still exists; meaning the layer of fat on my belly has not grown.

In addition to the self-inspection, like most people I perform the pinch test. You know, where you pinch the fat under your arm or around your belly, if the thickness of the bunch grows so has your waistline. Professionals even use this one (although the whole point of these posts is to note that the science about weight loss is pure bunk) calling it the caliper test to measure body fat percentage.

These self-evaluations have shown naught, yet I actually had to buy a larger pair of pants the other week. Why?

Oh Fat Fairy, I figured you out. Damn you for foiling me yet again. You have been putting fat underneath my skin! Lacing my muscles and organs, adding inches to my body so it grows, but in a way that was not immediately apparent with my regular benchmarks.

Don't worry my dear readers; I have busted out the measuring tape and journal. This evil sprite will not beat me!! Like most netherworld spirits it is merely a matter of knowing her game to beat her at it.

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