the will is strong

But the body is weak.

Today I went back to work, after being home for SIX WHOLE DAYS, only respite being a trip to the hospital to beg for drugs (failed) and a couple of OJ runs. Yesterday I really thought about going to work, but as I was still a bit heavy-headed decided to work from home. Surprisingly it worked out very well.

This morning as I woke up I threw my fist in the air and said, "I'm back!". Yes, really. No nausea, no headache, just a ghost of a cough left. Game. On. I showered, ate breakfast, and went on my merry way to work.

The walk to the subway was pleasant - 65 degrees, sunny, slight breeze. Beautiful morning. The kind that people write songs about. With a skip in my step and a song in my heart, I go down into the subway and catch myself the A train downtown. The train was a little crowded, as expresses can be, and the first leg from 42nd to 34th st was fine.

Then it hit.

A slight bit of nausea. Deep breaths, deep breaths, I can make it. The doors close. Then open. Then close. Then open. I'm in the middle of the train, starting to sweat now. I'm feeling light headed, kind of unsteady. We start to move. I'm sweating more now, thinking about how if I have to I can throw up into my bag. Really don't want to have to clean it out afterwards though. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Keep calm, shifting from foot to foot. You think some of the people around me would be concerned that I'm about to explode. Okay, we passed 28th street, almost to the next stop and I can get off there. You can do it - don't puke don't puke don't puke. Sweat is dripping from my hair, running down my collarbone. I start to see colors swirling in front of my eyes. The train starts to slow, approaching the station, I maneuver towards the door and..... get off the train.

Oh thank god. I can sit down on a bench, gather my bearings. Do I go home? I'm closer to work than home at this point. I'm feeling better already. Looking up, I can see police officers across the platform, glad to know they are there if I need help. I let a train come and go, realize I'm fine now, and get on the next E train.

In transit, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in one of the windows. I AM DRENCHED. You ever see a naked gun movie when they make someone sweat and just pour water right over them? Yep, I am solid liquid. Even my hair is dripping. All during a train ride that lasted maybe three minutes, tops. I think I scared a small child and a tourist or two on the E train. What is wrong with that girl who is soaked with sweat on a 65-degree day? If I was of Arabic descent I'm sure I would have been arrested.

Fortunately it is a couple of blocks to work from the station, and the nice breeze dried me off a bit.

The moral of this story? Avoid public transit after being home for extended periods due to illness. Take a taxi, save your bag. Or at the very least, your make-up.