Thursday, April 03, 2008

heartbroken

Fuck it.

I'm not going to lie; I'm not going to hedge words. Screw the job.

Today I received a call that one of my employees had passed away.

It was terrible.

Yes, I knew there were problems. Yes I tried to help. Yes I feel like I could have done more. Yes I feel like my position at the job held me back.

Goddamn it none of those things matter to her children.

I am heartbroken.

.

.

.

Because of who I am and who I strive to be - at the job I will be strong. I will help people try to understand while being discreet. I will help people to grieve; I will listen and try to help them understand.

But I am heartbroken.

.

.

.

I am the kind of person who is perceptive, who sees things. Yet I missed that one moment.

For that moment, for what I feel I could have done.

I am heartbroken.

1 comment:

ctina said...

I think it's good to let it out. And, don't be too concerned about holding all your shit together at work. You're human.