Tuesday, December 04, 2007

the conversationalist

The big day is upon us, tomorrow I voyage into the world of the speed dating.

*insert collective oohs and aahs here*

Supposedly I will meet ten to fifteen men for five minutes a pop. On one hand five minutes sounds like nothing (also known as a new york minute, natch) but in the company of the wrong person it is an ETERNITY.

So I have been working on my strategies.

bring up the weather (snore)
inquire about their job (potential landmine - could upset them or me)
ask what they do for fun (c'mon)
allow Disneyworld into the conversation
mention Sex in the City (typically NYC men hate that show for obvious reasons)

use the letter game (first letter of name = predetermined word I have to work into sentence. e=energy for example)
ask how they got 'here' (litmus test - literal, figurative, or playful)
inquire 'how's life treating you?' (good indicator of positive/negative tendencies)
ask about his drink (I'm Irish for god's sake, I can talk about alcohol for hours)

bring up flight attendant past (potential inspiration of unwanted lecherous behavior)
mention the upcoming holidays
the marathon

Run Screaming
any inquiry as to a 'top 5' list comes up
professional wrestling is in any way mentioned
the word 'taxidermy' is used in conversation
safe words are discussed (okay, maybe I am a little intrigued...put under questionable)

Or of course if I have no interest in the five minute date guy at all, there is always "tell me about your mother." At least that one will result in a really great story.

Strike that, more likely a really interesting story. Interesting for YOU. Dammit.


ctina said...

Great post! But I have to disagree about the "tell me about your mother." I think it's too psychological for a first-5-minutes question. Unless of course you're doing a case study...

And I think you should def bring up holidays -- shows how religious/ what religion they are.

Erica said...

Ask what their stance is regarding the Cowboys' winless season. If A) they're enjoying the losing streak, they're either a true football fan or a sadist enjoying the pain of Dallas fans, B) they're hating the losing streak, they're either completely sympathetic and warm-hearted, or wussies, or C) don't care, they're not a football fan which means they probably don't do the Super Bowl which means they suck.
Or you could ask about their stance in the bathroom. But that might be too personal.
I kind of want to go with you now...good luck!!!!!

Flighty Bird said...

Have fun tonight! Remember, at the very least it'll be a great story and good laugh!

Nicole and Shane said...

Delurking here. I'm a reader from Calgary Alberta Canada - my mom introduced me to your blog and I enjoy it as much as she does.

One question - do we get a play by play of the speed dating night? No pressure, of course because your life sounds wonderfully full! I'm trying very hard to be patient, but you should know I can't wait to hear your funny spin/take on it all.