Of course not.
Here are some of the highlights:
• The first drink on Beale Street? The “call-a-cab”, specialty of Wet Willie’s containing Everclear and rum. Way to start a weekend!
• A conference for a national country music radio-a-thon raising funds for St. Jude’s was in town. I think we got to know half of them. Because obviously RFW, Gerf, and I know so much about country music. (Not)
• Nothing to make you feel young again like making out with a 24-year-old bartender in the men’s room.
• Drunken people should not dip you when dancing.
• Graceland converted RFW from an Elvis admirer to an Elvis fan.
• Taxi drivers in Memphis are scary. Very very scary.
• Because the state of Tennessee could not hold us, we headed to Arkansas for the dog track. And I won $40 on Silver Willow. I never win anything!
• My god the music in Memphis is amazing. We saw so many live bands, and all I have to say is there is NOTHING like seeing the blues live. I feel that much hipper for just witnessing the soul.
• When RFW is done kissing a boy for the evening watch out – only skid marks are left in the joint. Run smooches run!
• Really you would be surprised at how many people go to watch ducks walk from the fountain in the Peabody Hotel Bar on the red carpet to their beds for the night.
• Barbecue may be good at Rendezvous (located in a honest to god alley), but by god the Interstate Barbecue wins hands down. And we ate it at the location in the airport!
• Dancing at Club 152 was way fun, but over the top best men of bachelor parties and Gerf do not mix.
• RFW and I need to work on our wedding-ring scoping skills.
• Gerf is one hell of a wingman. But I need to work on my married friend wingman abilities.
• The Gibson guitar factory is really cool, albeit really really loud.
• A very not-successful pick up line? “You have really great boobs.”
• Drinking the Diver at Silky O’Sulluvans is a tip of the hat to Beale tradition, but watch out for drinkers who lose all ability to stand. Or even stay seated on a barstool.
• Way to break a 22-year-old New Jersey resident? Tell him you and your friends are all over 28. Seriously, heartbroken.
• What does it say when you eat twice in 24 hours at Denny’s on vacation? That there is nowhere else to order breakfast at 2:00 pm, and no where left open to eat post bar-closing at 5:00 am.
• Watching ladies the age of my mother who look like my mother going crazy for an Elvis impersonator is vaguely disturbing. (Seriously, they were creaming themselves, it was unsettling)
• An excellent way to end a super-fun vacation? Getting bumped to first class. Saweet!
For a taste of the sights, feel free to