sisters

I can remember when my mother was pregnant with my sister. Specifically because my brother wanted a brother and I wanted a sister. It became a competition.

And I won.

Growing up I tortured my siblings ruthlessly. I would provoke my brother until he got so angry he turned beet red and shook. My sister is four years younger, and her trials by my hand were way way worse.

There was the time I used to get her to do my bidding by threatening to tie her down, blindfold her, gag her, and play the intro to Thriller. You know, the Vincent Price monologue with the spooky sound effects. Then she told on me and I got into trouble. So I explained her that if she ever told on me for threatening her again I would shave her head bald in her sleep.

When babysitting, the abuse was worse. Sis was afraid of the dark, and I would follow her around the house turning off every light as soon as she would turn it on. While my brother followed around saying "Stop, you shouldn't do that." He wasn't very convincing.

Thing is, these were just control games. As much as I made my sister's life miserable, I did so much to try to make her happy. Like the times when I would decide to make her laugh so hard she couldn't stop. Or how I taught her not to be afraid of the dark, by sitting by the night-light and turning it off for 30 seconds at a time to get her used to it. Or when she couldn't sleep telling her to concentrate on the sound of my breathing, to know she was safe. Or when I told her the reason that her myriad of stuffed animals would be on the floor when she woke up was because while she was asleep they were having a super duper party dancing and whatnot, but when she woke up they had to stop wherever they stood. (Yes, this was YEARS before Toy Story, dammit!!)

My sister and I have remained close throughout our lives, and she means more to me than anyone in the world. It just isn't because she is a better, kinder person than myself. But because she knows me better than anyone else in the world and she still loves me. That means a lot.