Through self imposed trials and tribulations, my sister and I remained close.
We survived my immediate family. Then discovered our extetended. We traveled together. And still liked each other. We lived in sin. (With boys, not each other you dirty bastards.) And were forgiven by the religious family.
Now you all know I have had health problems. Long and extended ones.
My sister's were shorter but way more intense.
One month after my second surgery, where the foot of my intestine was removed, my sister was admitted to the very hospital where I had been chopped to pieces. For her the symptoms were nausea and headaches.
When she was unconscious for 24 hours we got worried. My loud voice could not wake her. That is shocking, c'mon.
Turns out she had a brain tumor. At 17. It was benign, but the process was still long and hard for her. As much as I have gone through over many years, she experienced the more intense version - all before being legal.
I will not lie. When I first learned that my sister had a brain tumor I freaked the fuck out. I went on laughing and then crying jags from one minute to the next. I was hysterical.
Until I decided that I could not believe that she would not get better. I call it conscious denial. You refuse to think of the worse.
She got better. I won. Again
This past Monday I got an email from my sister:
call me later
they are going to cut my head open again on friday :)"\
So not funny.
Wasn't meant to be.
My mom's email, two hours later, went more like this:
This morning Katie got the results of the MRI she had yesterday. She has been having really bad headaches the last few months. Her brain tumor is back. It is the same type (Hemangeoblastoma)and in the same place (behind her left ear) as last time. The good news is that it is benign and not too hard to get at. It is fluid filled cyst. The Surgeon, and Katie both would like it out as soon as possible. She is going to have surgery Friday morning, 4/14/06, at the University of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor. We don't know the exact time yet, they will have to bump someone to get an Operating Room. We are going to see the Surgeon for a pre-op appointment tomorrow morning. So, please keep her in your prayers. We hope for as good an outcome as we had 14 years ago.
Katie is having brain surgury Friday morning. My baby sister. the kindest most forgiving person I know, has to go through this less than two months before her wedding day.
If I could take all the pain, suffer as much as humanly possible to take this away from her I would. But I have no choice in the matter. My sister has a tumor the size of a golf ball in the lower left part of her brain, and she has to have brain surgery for the second time in her very short thirty years of life.
I believe in positive visualization. All of you reading this have to imagine me, right now, dancing at her wedding. Giving my speech, congratulating her and her new husband for their new lives promised to each other. Me telling my stories of how I tortured her in her youth but cared for her at the same time. Please, only image the good things I speak of, and I believe the best scenario will come true.
If you imagine rain, it will pour. Please, believe in the sun.
Your positive thoughts make the difference. This whole week for me has been about her. If you know the devil, introduce me to him so I can sell him my soul. Not much left to give, but it is worth a try.
At the very least, imagine Katie mocking me for the rest of my live for being such a sentimental, sappy, and emotional bastard. I can take the torture, it is worth the price.
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