uttanasana

Week two of my program and here are some thoughts:

1) Headstands are fun but handstands scare the crap out of me. For some reason it is hard for me to keep my gaze between my hands and throw my body up into the air.

2) It seems I am a good nine inches away from being able to do the splits. That is a lot closer than I thought I ever would be, and here I am a fledgling yogi.

3) Classes may talk about the breath in any given day, but they are far, far away from explaining how it interacts with the rest of practice. The really big mental part. The meditation to enlightenment part. Yoga means to bring together opposites, but is that really taught?

4) When faced with decreased down time it is hard to remember that transformation is a good thing. All I could think on the way to the studio tonight was "dammit I don't want to go AGAIN. I just went yesterday!" But mid sun salutation I remembered - this is my chance to grow into something more. And once remembered, class was no longer a chore but a gift.

5) Historically I have always believed that my biggest problem was a lack of discipline. Tonight I realized that I have grown and no longer need to worry about being too lazy. If anything I have to remember to cut myself some slack.

6) The biggest key for me right now is to stop defining myself as the redhead or the girl who fell over on her face from crow or the girl who already meditated every day. I just am and I just need to be. If other people need to define me they can, but there is no need for me to limit myself. Living in NYC I think makes this rather challenging.

There is more, but I'm tired and my poor body needs some rest and my brain needs some deep sleep meditation. Here's hoping for handstand dreams!!