Friday, May 18, 2007

I think I get it

Okay, for my entire life I have never wanted children. I have spoken about this before. Nothing new here.

As I have gotten older I am less and less motivated to pop out a mini me. Let's think here.....

Have you heard a new parent talk about how little sleep they get? Of course you have. Because every new parent complains about this. For some reason they had no idea it was coming. (You would think that expecting people would have spoken to the more experienced, wouldn’t you?)

Time? What time? You don't have time; your life is now decided by the schedule of your offspring. Fuggedaboudit.

Money is just silly. It is that strange number that is being stashed away to pay for unexpected doctor bills or future little handheld games. Or a college future if you are just that lucky.

This could go on and on. All the things that people sacrifice in order to have children, I have never quite understood. I really blame that missing genome somewhere, the whole missing maternal link.

It just seems like so much to give up for so little reward.

All for a smile? A hug? That one moment at sixteen in the middle of all the screaming when your kid says "you know mom/dad...you aren't so bad"
How many years of your life did you give away for that?? Oh, and being blamed for everything wrong with their lives because you had the AUDACITY to give them said life in the first place?

Yes, I have issues.

So anyway. Last week I met someone who had recently completed her first marathon. Quickly I proceeded to telling her how much I hated running my marathon, how painful it was to complete, how much time and effort I put into preparing myself for such tortuous event etc etc etc.

She loved running her marathon, every minute. And wants to run another. I gave her mad props and then silently declared her insane.

Then maybe I happened on this past Wednesday to watch a show you may of heard of.... Lost. A character was journaling his top five moments in his life.

The show ended and I thought...what were my happiest moments?

Of course the first to come to mind? Finishing the marathon.

Oh...

Wait...

I get it!!

Lots of effort, not a logical ratio of effort to reward....

Ding. Ding motherfucking Ding.

Still don’t want kids though.

1 comment:

Teacher said...

My favorite freaking line of the year...

ding. ding motherfucking ding.