the five stages

Things were moving along really well with my plans of world domination at the job...until the very end of the workday Friday. Then a HUGE wrench got thrown into the works. And my idea fell thru.

At first I was really disappointed. Sad. I was really getting stoked at the idea of taking on new challenges and a new role. Starting a new routine, learning a whole new job. How could they not want me? Am I actually not the best? Other people would be better than me? What did I do wrong? What if I had made my move sooner?

Then I got to the dinner party of the evening and stepped into denial. Oh well, such is life. It was worth a try but I'm no worse off.

After the party (which was quite fun) I fell headfirst into anger. What the frick is wrong with this company? Why don't they use my considerable talents instead of tossing them to the side? Even worse, why are they going to make things more difficult for me? The wrench in the works actually makes my life more pollitical and convolued. Argh.

Next of course came the bargaining. If I just wrote up a very detailed email listing exactly why they should let me take on the challenges the company will be better off. Lying in bed last night I couldn't sleep for thinking of all the things that will go wrong if they wouldn't follow my plan and why I should get my way.

Luckily I did fall asleep. And woke up with acceptance. This is the same company I got hired at three and a half years ago that is inefficient and mired down in red tape. My whole career there has been me fighting through the muck just so I can do the bare minimum, let alone really give it all I got. Which is why I have wanted for a while now to leave.

Shiny shiny had distracted me for a while. I'm really glad I tried to stretch my wings so I could see exactly how small the cage I'm in actually is.

That Kubler-Ross sure was a smart lady. Those stages really apply all over the place don't they? And of course I'm really lucky I have the high emotional metabolism to get through them so quickly. Onward and upward to something else!!