Monday, August 24, 2009

the single life

One other thing of note that has been going on - all of a sudden I've been dating.

My regular readers know that over the years I date here and there, on and off. I'll meet someone, go on a few dates, and then be done seeing anyone for a few months.

You definitely can't say I'm not totally comfortable being single.

But how much of that is comfort and how much is stowing myself away in a 'safe' little nook, not risking any kind of attachment for fear of being hurt? To be honest I'm not really sure.

From my level of personal happiness being single I would say more of the former, but I won't lie I think there has always been a nibble of apprehension on my part as well. Even in my 20s I was fully aware that I dreaded commitment, somewhere believing that nothing is permanent so why lay it all on the line?

Lately the trepidation has dissipated. And it has been nice. Honestly I give full credit to my immersion into yoga; it healed and still heals me in so many surprising ways.

As often happens in life here I am open to something new and what do you think comes along? Boys.

Chemistry.com has recently been batting 1000. I have been a member for years (at no charge to me and with little interaction) with nary a good candidate thrown my way. Over the last six months it has been a flurry of activity filled with actual dating potential.

At one point I was dating two people at once. For more than one date and one week. Which for me is unheard of.

(BTW dating like that is VERY time consuming.)

So more details to come. I'll fill you all in on the boyz, they’ll be getting their own posts.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

she never learns

You know I thought I was oh so smart volunteering for the NYC half last weekend. Because I had learned from experience that it was a total bear to run. Always above 80 degrees and above 80% humidity.

As I cheered those 10,000 runners on I couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor saps.

Stupid ass me signs up for a 5k this weekend.

Duh.

Needless to say it was hot and humid. I rained in the morning, stopped before the start. And then the sun came out. You know what that means?

That means all that water on the ground starts to evaporate. Steam rising is always fun to run through. Not.

Overall my time was good, finished in just over 31 mins. And I didn't think about the knee once. That's something isn't it? Time and patience can cure so much.

For this race they used some new disposable chip to track our times and right now I'm not finding my results online - which kinda sucks. Guess I'll have to protest and use the pictures they take as proof.

You know, if I needed proof that I ran a race for something. Not that anything comes to mind. :)

Friday, August 21, 2009

why the detox?

Here I am on day 12 of my detox.

When I tell people the laundry list of what I'm giving up for the 21 one days most of them tend to respond with "What?!? Why?!?" Of course in an incredulous tone.

Throughout my life I have been a high-energy kinda gal. I pride myself on being the life of the party, and was always on the go. Heck I held down two jobs and still went out a couple nights a week for years with nary a stumble in my stride.

Fast forward to the present day where I'm drinking six cups of coffee a day just to feel baseline normal and it is still a major effort to motivate to go out on the town at night.

Hells bells, I'm just 37 living a life of relative leisure. I should not be this exhausted all the time.

On a whim I picked up a book my company publishes, Spent. (As in lack of energy, not money)

The more I read the more I wanted to read. It claimed that if you are feeling worn down, are constantly bloated, can't lose weight despite diet/exercise, get sick often, can't sleep, etc etc then you just need to let your body heal itself.

Reboot.

Having gone on a two week juice fast I am no stranger to the idea of natural healing alternatives. So I took a couple weeks to trim down my kitchen and wean myself off of my coffee.

For breakfast I have a smoothie, lunch a salad or some quinoa/chicken/veggie combo, and dinner the same or back to a smoothie. If I get hungry I snack on fresh fruit or raw nuts.

Not hard right? Especially since I'm just not hungry. Not like before the detox, when for some reason I was hungry all the time - it felt like every couple of hours.

Oh, and the energy? Lord I'm waking up before my alarm, totally ready to take on the day. I've NEVER been that person!

In general so far so good! Granted I've never done something like this for three weeks, so we'll see how my resolve to be healthy holds up.

Then I’ll have to figure out the order in which to reintroduce the foods back into my diet. Any guesses what comes back first? Heh.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

she's back!

Boy, do I have a lot of catching up to do.

How have you all been? Feeling good? Livin life? Keepin' on keepin on?

It hasn't been so much that I've been busy as uninspired. Over time I just felt like I didn't have too much to say. And I would add that it seems I've been through a rough patch as well - which I think really affected me more than I even realized.

That being said I have a skip in my step again. You have no idea how much I missed that.

Why am I back? Right now two things - I'm back running again and I'm on a detox.

After a TON of yoga my muscles developed enough for my knee to get back to working order. It took patience and time but I even ran a four mile race last month, and it felt terrific.

The knee will never feel the same, I can tell there is a piece of cartilage missing, but it doesn't hurt. That is the key.

And the detox? Oh, the detox. Currently I am on day 11 of 21 giving up gluten, soy, dairy, sweeteners, nightshade veggies, caffeine, and alcohol. With that list it looks like there is nothing I can eat but don't you worry, there is plenty.

Killer thing about the detox is that all the promises are coming true. My energy is off the charts! One claim I scoffed at was that after a few days you would crave veggies and love the taste.
Yeah, right.
Well lo and behold last night I had some veggies with hummus and found myself eating just the veggies!! Mid-chew I even found myself saying "This celery is delicious! Wait, I hate celery..."

Maybe I should try Brussels sprouts tonight...oh the possibilities!

Friday, June 26, 2009

it's the little things

Today while travelling to grab some lunch I passed by a gentleman walking while singing and playing a ukulele.

Because that is something I'm sure everyone sees all the time.

This city constantly sup rises and delights me to this day. Not that living here nine years is forever, but still.

My god, nine years and I'm still working for the man. Really, I've got to do something about that. Not that it isn't on my radar, I've been using the Lululemon Goal Site to keep track of where I go next.

Of course first on the list is to do a handstand without a wall. So we'll see how that whole non-corporate life thing measures up...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

so sad

Yes he was reclusive, eccentric, and clouded in mystery. But all the same I find myself greatly saddened by the untimely death of Michael Jackson.

Like many of you I have been glued to my TV for the past several hours, shocked by his death. I don't know why. Maybe because in spite of all his oddities his gifts of music and dance have permeated our culture to such a point that we can't imagine the world without him.

In memoriam a re post of my brush with his greatness back in early 2001. R.I.P Michael Jackson.

_______________________________________

I got to meet Michael Jackson once. I spent two hours with him, as a matter of fact. As his waitress.

Fresh off the metaphorical boat to NYC, I was working two jobs, publishing assistant by day and server at a swanky restaurant by night. The wait staff had a mix of experience, newbies like me who had been on the island for five months, and a score of actors who had been slinging drinks in between gigs for years. Imagine my surprise when I go into work and found out that I was to be the lucky person to wait on MJ and his production crew. They were in town to record his last album.

They were late; they had to lose the paparazzi on the way to the restaurant. He came in, his foot in a cast and wearing the facemask. Once in the banquet room the mask came off and the party of six relaxed a bit.

Michael Jackson was very pleasant, polite, and subdued. He ordered vegetable broth and orange soda. The rest of his party ate and drank like kings - on his dime. They whole meal they pandered for his attention, trying to engage him in conversation. I have to admit, he did his best to comply.

There was definitely something off about him. It was like there was a heavy fog surrounding him, emitting this weird "please, just let me be" vibe. You could sense that he was so tired of always having to give something to everyone. Really, every single person who met him wanted to be acknowledged, noticed, touched. I realized the greatest service I could give to him was to let him alone as much as possible.

I felt profoundly sorry for him. You could just tell that fame had scarred him so deeply there was probably no recourse. He would have to be completely un-famous for at least twenty years to even regain a semblance of normality. This man did not just give the world music, dance, and culture. He gave the world his life and his sanity. Was it worth it?

Saturday, May 30, 2009

proof of age

Oh, I've got one for ya.

On occasion after a tough day I'll have a beverage at home before I hit the hay. It doesn't have to be much, and for a nightcap I'm not going to be picky.

Often I've done various mixed drink variations, If there is vodka on hand I'll make do with lime juice, soda water, some kind of drink mix. Several things will work to make straight liquor a cocktail.

Tonight? Well to mix with vodka I had my orange flavor Metamucil on hand as well as some soda water.

Everyone can use a little fiber, right?

Right?

Dude.

Oh...

Dude.

But really, is it so wrong to ask for intoxication and regularity at the same time?

**Question you will never hear posed by a 20-something**

BTW - Tasted pretty good. Note for retirement parties....

Saturday, March 07, 2009

rollover

So I signed up for rollover minutes with my cell phone plan.

I don't talk on the phone much.

Guess how many anytime minutes I have.

4,507. That's 75 hours. Three days uninterrupted. Who wants to guess how quickly I burn through these in April once my yogi plan goes live? Ha.

Friday, February 13, 2009

c'mon

This morning I think the NYT is having a joke on me.

In the article that states that we are just steps away from the cure to a common cold, the picture of the nasty rhinovirus is posted...



Dude, its a soccer ball. With stars on it.

Gotta be a prank, I swear...

Saturday, February 07, 2009

pushing yourself

Howdy readers! Sorry for the radio silence. You know when I started this thing I couldn't wait to write another post. I would think about it all the time, obsessed with coming up with good material and getting it on the World Wide Web. But now? Not so much.

Hmmm. Wonder why.

Anyhoo the other day I was in a yoga class and I discovered something. I can lower myself from plank position and hover halfway down (known as Chaturanga Dandasana) for days on end. That wasn't the discovery; I've been building that strength for months.

The discovery was that the teacher asked us to reverse the flow and come up from the hover I couldn't do it. Not even one.

My god. I have become a freak of nature with built triceps and no biceps at all.

Fortunately I am not one to resign myself to my fates. In discussing my revelation with friends last night a game plan was hatched. In the form of a challenge. My friend Ctina had told me a while ago about a website that has a program to reach 100 push-ups in just six weeks.

(At the bar I was remembering incorrectly that it was 100 push-ups in 100 days, but 42 days is even more impressive!)

Luckily I'm not the only person I know who likes to set crazy fitness goals and work with elaborate training plans. My buddy Squirrel heard the idea and was sold.

Thus this Monday starts THE CHALLENGE. I don't recall if there was any kind of wager as to completing said gauntlet, but I'm pretty sure when I kick Squirrel's ass I'll be able to tease him mercilessly for months. Years even.

You know, I'm willing to bet that we can get quite a good group together on this one. I'm totally tagging Ctina, Seattle Girl, my sister and her husband, Spaghetti, Colorado Dman, GM Paul, and Vegas Dawn. One because I think they would enjoy joining in our little adventure, two because I will love torturing them should they fall short of the goal.

Who's in??

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

torn

So besides loving destination NYE (which I still will post about!!) I also adore destination birthdays. And being that my birthday is four days after Vday if I can be gone then too it is a major bonus.

Of course now that I am a proud owner and user of a Passport I am itching to get some more stamps.

One idea I had was to go to a week long yoga retreat in Costa Rica. All inclusive vegetarian meals and two classes a day. Problem was that it was two grand before airfare. Ouch.

Today I received an email with London airfare sales. Total round trip with two free nights in a hotel for five hundred bucks. This I could do in more of a long weekend, four or five nights.

Then on a whim I checked the yoga retreat and they are having a recession special - it is down to nineteen hundred bucks WITH the airfare.

I'm torn. Right now I'm leaning toward London because it is shorter and cheaper. But on the other hand Costa Rica is warm and sunny this time of year. And yoga is good for you.

Decisions, decisions.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

soooo cold

Okay, so this morning I woke up to no heat.

Again.

Second time this week, maybe the fifth or sixth time since I've been here. Always on the really cold days. And when there is no heat there is no hot water either, so I can't even warm up in the shower.

Aren't there laws about this???

During the week my saving grace has been this amazing invention, Ojon Rub-Out Dry Cleanser.

This stuff is AMAZING. Sadly my hair gets visibly greasy in a mere 24 hours. Thus the need to wash my hair daily. Which is torture in a cold shower when my apartment has no heat. But with this product a mere spray, rub, and brush later my hair looks fantastic. Good as new. And fullness and body?? Gorgeous.

Methinks with curly or already too-full hair this might be a bit much, but if you have those problems do you really have to wash your hair everyday anyway?

Anyhoo, this stuff rocks my world. So much that if you are getting gifts from me this year you already know it will be one of those wrapped items.

Now if my heat would be just as reliable as this hair product...

Friday, January 16, 2009

what to do when it is cloudy

Day two in the canaries we woke up to overcast skies somewhere just shy of noon. After a short walk we were able to find a place that served English breakfast (baked beans anyone?) and hit the beach.

It was cold without sun.

Luckily that's when TJ and Chris showed up. TJ is a friend of Kzoo Jen's from Kellogg and Chris is his boyfriend. They had already been in the islands for a week, and wanted to head up to the coast to see the cliffs. We were game, so we headed up to Los Gigantes.

Do you see that spec just a little bit left and below the first cliff? That's an entire pirate ship. (or what looked like one.) The cliffs were big indeed. Driving to them was reminiscent of driving highway 1 in California, and Kzoo Jen felt a little bubbly in the tummy so we headed next for some soda. Warm soda of course, since they don't really try hard to chill beverages on Tenerife.

Los Gigantes itself was nestled in the valley of some cliffs, complete with tiny winding one way roads that snaked over and around each other all the way to the water.

That would be an unsuspecting TJ in the bottom left corner.

The next day was overcast as well, so we all spent the most of our time eating, sleeping, and drinking the night away. We pretty much spent the most of our time in an Irish pub.
Yes, I know. We travelled across the world and I still ended up in an Irish pub. But you don't understand!!! There was a live band!! And even ten year old kids were dancing on the tables!! Just look at that crowd!

We danced with the Irish, the English, and even some locals. Oh, and I suppose it was a bonus everyone automatically spoke our language. Didn't notice that at the time.

We also got to help celebrate TJ's birthday, which was the 30th. Here is a picture of TJ and Chris in front of the birthday dessert feast that Chris put together to celebrate. Note everything is chocolate. Joy!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

world traveller

The rest of the holiday in Dtown was good if not downright uneventful. Exchanged some gifts, ate some food, watched children run around. For fun I handed my iphone to my five-year-old nephew who then took a few pics....

And then off to the Canary Islands with Kzoo Jen!! We saw each other briefly at DTW and then traveled our separate airlines to Madrid, Spain. We flew into Tenerife without incident, and were able to navigate the bus system to make it from the north to the south part of the island without too much pain.

Although I did learn that a handy translator on the iphone is neat, but if you don't understand answers to your questions you kind of are screwed anyway. Mental note - before traveling to another foreign speaking country I am reviewing my number translations. Anything in Spanish over ten just confused me.

Our first night on the town of Las Playas de Americas I discovered something amazing. Callers were paid a euro for each person they were able to solicit into coming into a bar, and we were given free shots and two for one drinks for being that new customer.

Free shots people!!

Okay, they weren't quite an ounce and most of the time they were more like a juice drink, but free booze is free booze.

Which can have an unfortunate side effect. On our way out of the second to last bar of the evening some guys were playing this punching bag game. It was one of those teardrop shaped bags, and the challenge was to hit it as hard as you could and find out how forceful your blow was.

These gents encouraged myself and Kzoo Jen to give it a whirl. I stood in front of the game, drew back my hand, and threw all my weight into my blow.

Unfortunately the floor was wet beneath me. And I have no idea how to throw a punch. My feet flew out from underneath me and I fell forward.

On my face.

Yeah, not kidding. My face hit first, hands never had a chance to catch up.

My first worry? My veneers!! I just got the damn things! Luckily they seemed secure. But then my lip swelled up. Because that is sexy. Oh yeah.

But don't worry, that didn't spoil my fun. We went to another bar so I could get a nice cold beer to ice my lip. Who says I don't know anything about first aid??

Sunday, January 11, 2009

happy holidays! (much belated)

My holidays were just great, thank you very much!

Yeah, it has taken me a week to get around to blogging. Proof positive that it still rates high on my list, I'm doing this but I haven't gotten around to unpacking yet.

Thus you get a glimpse into how my priorities are structured.

Christmas itself was a lot of fun. For me. My sister and brother in law were hella sick. Katie had a super painful sinus infection and Scho had a dry hacking cough. They were real troopers though; they were amazing hosts in spite of their pain.

We did our second annual trip to Sidetracks in Ypsi for the FANTASTIC beer battered pickles. (mmmmmm) And of course we played a little Rock Band. Hell, feeling a little better they let me teach them some yoga on Christmas morning.

Katie really did go above and beyond. On Christmas Eve day we wanted to go into A2 for some Indian food but her head was throbbing, so she allowed me to give her on of my post-op vicodin. By the time we got to the restaurant the pain had gone down a bit, so she acquiesced to a second pill.

She didn't eat very much of the buffet though, complaining of a slight upset stomach. She mentioned that she thought it might be the drugs. Which I can understand, after my abdominal wall reconstruction both vicodin and percoset made me nauseous.

Sis powered through the meal, and we decided to check out the brand spanking new Whole Foods that just opened on the west side of Ann Arbor. We needed to eat something that night, and I wanted to pick up some healthy snacks for my impending travels.

Happily the parking lot was not too full, and we ventured into the world of overpriced healthy stuff. Sweet bounty of all things wholesome and natural, we slowly browsed the aisles of sweet, sweet nutrition packed opulence. And joy of joys, we found Katie's favorite beer in stock in the back of the restaurant! We had been searching for this Bell's seasonal beer in the pink box for the past 24 hours, to no avail. Sold out everywhere else, we celebrated our bounty.

Then we moved towards the prepared foods section to select our dinner. Sis then turned to me and said,

"I think I'm going to throw up"

Well we immediately pinpointed an employee and asked the location of the restrooms. Front of store. With a sense of urgency belying our calm, we started to move past the open buffets.

Then it happened. Katie slowed down, and cupped her mouth with her hands. She held it together for a second, a breath. Then her stomach contracted and liquid shot out from between her fingers, jet propelled in all directions.

At this point she had to drop her hands as she heaved again, albeit just straight down - to minimize the radius of expulsion.

You would think we would have caused a stir. But no. It was over in less than ten seconds. One employee did witness the last relief and handed her his towel. She then was able to make a break for the bathroom. I stood there with the employee for a minute, wondering if I should baby-sit the mess until it got cleaned up. Then I decided my sister was more important and joined her in the front of the store.

We didn't end up buying the beer. Or any dinner. We can however sleep easy now knowing that she will never have a problem with addiction to painkillers.

More about the holidays to come...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

never a dull...body

Just a quick update on the knee. Had a follow up appt with my doc, and he told me it wasn't my meniscus that was messed up. It was a much more rare injury, a break in my articular cartilage the size of a quarter.

Which means the coating on my femur that makes movement smooth had a big rough spot. Therefore my doc smoothed it back out.

Good news is that it is an even faster recovery time. Two more weeks and I can start jogging again.

Bad news is that if this was a genetic origin then I may need partial knee replacement down the line.

BUT that will happen with or without running. So I am going to use my handy dandy bright side disease and believe that the pseudogout caused the wear and tear and now everything is hunkey dorey.

So I'll try to get one more post in before my holiday travels. Because with all this busy stuff happening I've had an adventure or two,

That's right people, I actually have things to blog about again. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

pretty snow!!

It is about frickin' time it really snowed here in NYC. How the heck do you get in the holiday spirit without snow??

Okay, yes I work around the corner from the Rockefeller Center tree. I guess that helps.

So as many of you know yesterday was my arthroscopic knee surgery to correct my torn meniscus. All went fine and dandy, my health is okay and my joint outlook is rosy.

My surgery was scheduled for noon, which really meant two to three hours of me sitting around repeating my birth date and what part of me was to be operated upon to about ten people. Guess they were worried about cutting the wrong piece of me up. Which is good to know, that they care I mean. Not that there is probably a reason for their paranoia.

Much to my relief they did the whole procedure with me under general anesthesia, which means I was knocked the heck out. The original anesthesia doc suggested I get a spinal, which made me nervous. As much as you would think to the contrary I really have no desire to be awake when someone is rooting around in my body. Hell, a sonogram of my heart beating almost made me hyperventilate.

Maybe an hour after being knocked out I awoke in the operating room - groggy with my knee trussed up in padding and ace bandages. The surgeon long gone to his next patient.

The recovery room nurses let me know that yes indeedy I could put weight on my leg and all I would need to walk would be a cane. I was given a prescription for some vicodin, and then when I proved I could walk to the bathroom without collapsing they let Thighs accompany me back home. (Thanks again Thighs!)

Frankly there was no pain leaving the hospital, my leg felt totally fine. Which was nice. I filled my painkiller prescription, popped a couple, and was promptly asleep by 10:00.

And of all the stuff they gave me and I gave myself wore off somewhere around 6:00 am. Holy crap it was hard to miss.

Dude, painkillers really work. The pain for real was a bitch. Which reflecting upon it makes sense - the literally rotor-rooted my knee, scraping out a bunch of bad padding. That should make a mark!!

Today I got my booty back to work, taking a cab in the am and dosing on my meds. It is better that I keep a little active; I have to move around at least every hour to prevent a stroke. (Good times) Besides, the more I keep my leg strength up, the quicker I recover and can get back to RUNNING!!

Doc said I can jog in four weeks. That was pre-surgery, so I'll hear for sure in my follow up appt on Thursday. Fingers crossed!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

little gains

Tonight, as a reward for completing my yoga teacher training, I decided to treat myself to a spa treatment.

Being that I lost a few pounds I figured I would enhance the effect by getting the quadruple thighpass. Which incorporates, and I quote:

A serious anti-cellulite treatment for those with "thigh" anxiety. An "all points attack" on orange-peel leaning legs. With a custom-blended microcirculation-stimulating essential oil, sluggish lymph gland handling, and two types of thigh-smoothing, toxin-purging massage. After 6 sessions, you'll be looking absolutely fabu-legs.

Ummmmmmmmmm

Yeah. It involved a pump machine with high suction. And a suction cup. That pulled my forearm skin (no fat there) up an inch. To test so I would be prepared.

Do you have ANY idea what it did to fattier tissue?

Ouch.

Oh wait.

Right, ouch.

Treat? What treat?

Damn you spas and your so-called beauty regimens. Torture to look pretty I say.

But really what do we ever do to look good that feels good as well? Yeah, nada. Waxing? Plucking? Shaving?

Dammit, being pretty is painful.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

transitions

Lord I'm so glad we are in December. Why you may ask?

First of all I'm just about done with the yoga teacher training course. One more day and I'm yoga alliance certified to teach!

It has been a lot of fun and a great journey, but let me tell you 200 hours over three months really eats into your free time. By no means was it horrible, but I definitely got lazy once I stopped working two jobs.

Secondly some serious time off is approaching. I fly out of NYC on the 23rd and I'm not back until Jan 2nd.

Yes I'll be in Dtown for the actual xmas holiday, but only for four nights. Thank god. It is fun to see my sis and whatnot, but too much time (as my loyal readers know) in my hometown drives me BONKERS.

The real impending joy is the week after xmas. The week I'll be spending in the Canary Islands with Kzoo Jen. OH MY GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT. Time on the beach, maybe a little surfing. Or wind surfing. Or kite surfing. Who knows? Endless possibilities.

Finally, the biggest reason I am thrilled to be in this month is what next year holds for me. By getting my certification I can go ahead and make my future my own. Sure the idea of a business plan seems monumental, and the idea of being my own boss is kind of scary.

Scary like a roller coaster though. Or white water rafting. Next year I am going to live my life getting to capitalize on the real me, not the corporate clone life that I have boxed myself into.

The real work is about to begin, but it will be such a relief to be passionate about my life again. Hooray!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

oh my

Sis just informed me that my brother and sister in law are expecting their fifth child.

Jeez. Guess that rhythm method REALLY works.

As a happy distraction from my sibling repopulating the earth, experience the joy of sci fi...and tell me why do I now have a crush on Spock? That's a new one.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

old habits

Tonight I went to my first yoga party. The 7th anniversary of the yoga studio I am affiliated with.

Frankly I was kind of worried. Would the people be uber spiritual? Would it be entirely vegan and clean living?

Four glasses of wine and a conversation about piercing genitals later, I realized that a party is a party is a party. And me? I love them all.

Tomorrow morning I may not feel the same way...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

transformation

Earlier this week I was catching up with Kzoo Jen, talking about our upcoming trip to the Canary Islands and our lives and whatnot when she asked if all this yoga was making me more spiritual.

Funny, I hadn't really given it much thought. But to my own surprise I actually responded 'yes'.

It is kind of hard not to feel a little more centered and enlightened after spending hours a week meditating and focusing on chakras and energy. Sure, sometimes the stuff we discuss is a little out there and woo-woo. Every now and then I find myself thinking to myself 'you gotta be kidding me' when we are told to flow with the energy in the room.

But it isn't just the meditation. The actual physical practice not only has made me physically stronger, more flexible, and improved my balance, but also has a way of clearing my head. Something about asana moves all the fluids around in a way that makes me think better.

That sounds kind of weird and is hard to describe, obviously. Yet it is so true. So the new found clarity combined with some age old wisdom found in the sutras really has helped me to grow.

So three weeks away from my certification am I almost a yogi? Maybe, just maybe, I am. Shanti shanti shanit, namaste.

Ohm. :)

Monday, November 10, 2008

jack of all trades

Soooo....anyone notice the newest item on sale at the Gap?

Anyone?

A bike. Adult bicycle for $500. Which as I recall from the five minutes I went bike shopping is actually a good price. And it even comes in argyle.

Whaddya think, never ride the subway again? Do you think they sell the matching helmet?

Thursday, November 06, 2008

hope revisited

Today I went and saw my new orthopedic surgeon. All it took was five minutes of me detailing my saga and review of my MRI report. The doc asked a couple questions, tested out my knee, and then immediately jumped into what would should I choose to have my knee scoped.

I am now officially scheduled for an Anthroscopy on Dec 15th to repair my knee.

Hooray!! This doctor rocks, he told me everything that could be found and gave me hope. I may be able to be fixed! At some point I may run again!! (Would I take on another marathon? Ooh, I don't know about that one.)

It is an outpatient surgery, two little holes in my knee with a couple of stitches each. A couple weeks of light activity and I'm quite possibly back in business.

God, it was such a relief to hear positivity. I've been so used to doctors telling me what I can't do, and that I just need to accept my fate. It has been crazy hard for me to just give up!

It sounds loony with my medical history, but this is the first time I have ever done the whole second opinion thing. I highly recommend it.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

dream world

Last night I had one of those really good conscious dreams. You know, one where you know you are dreaming and can change some things. Steer them your way.

In my dream I was on a stage with Anderson Cooper and he was flirting with me.

Now as we *sort of* know I am in real life not quite his type. Being that I am missing a Y chromosome. (I would hope.)

Since I was kind of aware in my dream every time the silver fox would bat his pretty eyelashes at me I would be confused, kind of backing away. It seemed I had to be mistaken, my perception seemed to be flawed. But the more I pulled away, the more Mr Cooper came on to me.

So I finally just stopped resisting. And it was great! My response to his attentions made Anderson so happy that he then felt motivated to introduce the both of us to Bono. Who did not by any means appreciate our attention.

Ah well. Guess you can't win them all over.

So here I am left in the cold light of day, trying to figure out who these people symbolize in my life. And why it had to be on a stage?

Who out there wants to be Bono? :)

Monday, November 03, 2008

try, try again

Today I decided I'm not going to give up on my knee just yet. Heck, I'm a healthy 30-something woman, something should be able to be done.

So I scheduled an appt with a new Orthopedic doctor. Hopefully one that would like to help me run again. Because I still miss a good jog in central park.

And yes, the marathon helped me make the decision to keep trying. That and a Fred Lebow documentary.

Oh, and the concept of making very good use of my health care...

Friday, October 31, 2008

insight

Entire conversation via email:

Me: Did you ever keep a diary? Just wondering...

Mom's reply: No, never did.
.
.
.

Yup, that was it. Direct response, no explanation and no expounding upon the inquiry.
.
.
.
If you have ever questioned my family ethic, just ponder this interaction for a moment.

Yeah.

just a thought

So as much as I am loathe to admit it, primetime TV just gave me some insight.

Tonight I was watching Grey's Anatomy, and this will not be a spoiler but more diaries from Meredith’s mother were discovered.

Being a normal human being I thought to my mother. The piece of rock whom only offers insight by act of supposition. The woman who I avoid and don't understand.

Damn the TV show, it occurred to me that my mother just never opened up to anyone. Which seems tragic. Then I wonder if I open up to anyone.

Oh, hello readers! So maybe I do.

Did my mother have an outlet though? What kind of doubts did she have at my age? Would she even remember? At my age she had three kids - hell I was six already.

So I just emailed to ask if she ever kept a diary. Frankly I doubt she remembers all her thoughts from 30 years ago. I'm shocked to read mine from just half a decade before now.

If you have children, I think the kindest thing you can give them is a record of your thoughts through life. Why not let them know that they are not alone? Hell, we all have to struggle. Understanding your parents went through something similar can only help.

One would think.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

over the top

For the first ten seconds it seemed to have potential.

But then it got too geeky. And for a dork like me, that is a lot of geek.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

snippity snap

Six months, several face first falls and countless bruises later, I have finally conquered the Crow Pose!!



Today I was able to hold this for thirty seconds. Not too shabby!

You would think it takes a lot of arm strength, but not so much. It is mostly abdominal work, flexible hips, and concentration. When I started out in yoga I was only really fluent with the focus part.

Now that I have mastered this, I can work on a few other arm balances...maybe the eight-angle pose? Shouldn't be too hard, right?


Yeah, I'll talk to you in another six months on that one.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

best laid plans

Are shot to hell should the new Guitar Hero World Tour arrive on your doorstep.

Designing my new character took a half an hour alone. And then of course I had to play a few levels...

Two hours and one very sore fret hand later I need to step away and practice my yoga for the day.

And then maybe if the feeling in my left hand has returned...

ps - instead of going to bed got sucked in again for an hour and a half. my left hand is now numb.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I hate celery

Just do. It is gross. Even in juice.

Blech.

And brussel sprouts. Can't stand 'em. Even when drowned in butter and pancetta.

My frustration with these items is constant, I feel like I should grow to like them over time. Like my appreciation for broccoli or coffee.

Not so much.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

giddy

Sometimes I forget how happy I get by the fact that I receive free soda at work.

It brings me great joy. Right now I am totally grinning from ear to ear.

Sometimes I forget how proud I am that I live in new york city.

It provides me with contentment. My heart warms just thinking about it.

Sometimes I forget the delightful smell of that first crisp fall or winter day.

It always brings me a smile. Nothing makes me feel more alive than feeling the season change.

Sure it makes me sound like such a simpleton, but really these things are what turn my mood into a bring one. Often people ask me why I'm happy all the time, and I joke that it is all the caffeine.

And yes stimulants do play a part.

But really it is allowing myself to enjoy as much as I can every day that I can. Too bad I can't bottle this type of living, eh?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

biker love

Have you been watching that new A&E show "Sons of Anarchy"? I have.

It makes me want to be badass.

Sure, they break laws. And morals. And property. And a few hearts. (awwww)

There is something so seductive about being so tough and rugged, and being around people who are like that. Heck, I almost want to be the girl characters. Except for having to sleep with the gross biker guys. The hot ones okay. But the necromantic one ewww.

Maybe the dating a felon thing wouldn't sit well with me either. Your guy sleeping around when attending a patch party might bug me as well. Them selling drugs and guns contributing to crime could be a moral issue too.

Hmmm. I think I'll just stick to watching the TV show. Being badass seems like it has a few too many negative side effects.

Monday, October 13, 2008

one hour and twenty minutes later

Yeah, that rocked.

Didn't feel like the oldest person there.

Energy kicked ass.

And maybe....just maybe...these guys got a little boost because they have a bonus song on GH3.

uh

yeah.

Holy crap you could tell this song was the tipping point. Two years ago I saw them at the roseland and was shocked that they were opening. Now they are headlining two nights.

With three opening bands, did I mention that?

No worries, I strolled in at 9:50, made a beeline towards the back bar and stopped 20 feet from the stage because Rise Against came on.

Crappy timing, eh? Not.

Gotta tell ya - they are awesome. If you get a chance see these guys, I lurve them. Maybe more than Weezer.

*gasp*

old age

So tonight I'm going to see one of my favorite bands in concert, Rise Against. I just called the theatre to find out what time they go on.

Doors open at 7:00.

Wanna guess?

Three opening bands later...they go on at 9:50. My lord. It is a Monday night!!

Yes, I'm still going to go. The concert hall is just around the corner for gods sake. And it isn't like I go to bed before midnight anyway.

But still. Geez.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

whoa

No way.

At least all my friends work for the company doing the buying. Detroit is already hurting, this could be the last nail in the coffin of the city. All those duplicated jobs eliminated?

Monday, October 06, 2008

in case you wondered

Exactly ten calendar days after applyig, I received my passport today.

Pretty damn quick eh? Not a bad pic either. See?


International travel here I come!!

On another note, after a week of being sick and only light yoga on the weekend I worked so hard at my class today that I nearly puked. If anyone ever says that yoga isn't a workout enough tell them they need a new teacher. My ass is kicked and I only took the medium poses.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

goes to show

So you know how a couple posts ago I said just work harder?

Hah.

There are limits. Seemed I worked a little too hard, wore my body down, and let a virus come on in. I've been home sick for three days.

Something I need to work on is patience. I see the same thing in yoga. Yes, I want to do that super cool pose balancing on my two arms sending both legs off in the air to one side. But if I don't take the time to work on my strength, flexibility, and balance I'm going to hurt myself.

And then it will take me even longer to get where I want to go because I have to heal and start all over again.

Thus my challenge. Stop sprinting and get comfortable going slow for a while. Eventually the slow will seem like a crawl and then I can kick it up to the next notch.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

ciao!

Yup, I finally did it.

It has taken me over eighteen years and over 200 flights on an airplane.

Today I applied for my passport.

Ta-daa!

Good thing I did, the guy at the post office said that next summer you will need a passport to fly anywhere, even domestically. Needless to say applying next year will be a bitch.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

work harder

Have you been watching the show The Cleaner? Who knew Benjamin Bratt could be so captivating?

At one point a character, the father of the addict, said that he was tired of fighting. The advice given? Choose what you care about, but no matter what don't stop fighting.

That, I get. Nothing worth having is ever easy. If I've said it once, I'll say it a million times.

But you do realize too that once you get what you want you have to work even harder to keep it.

People who make it look easy do so not because it actually was a piece of cake.... but because they accepted that the work was worth it. Ease does not come from inaction; it comes from willful acceptance of effort.

I'm willing to put in the time. I make my accomplishments look easy because early in life I realized I had to work hard. Acceptance came to me at a young age. Probably because I wanted a hell of a lot. Heck, I had two jobs or more until I was 30, and here I am doing it again. Why? Because I want more. So I'll work harder.

If you spend more time complaining about something than you do to changing it, think again. All that energy spent being negative could be doing something far more positive. (Seriously, just time yourself for a week. You may be surprised.)

Every hour of every day is a gift. Strike that - an opportunity. Your chance to reach out and grab it. Just expect that when you reach out you may have to achieve a handstand to get a grasp.

Dammit.

Time and energy is limited, spend time treading water or take a deep breath and swim to shore. Your choice.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

uttanasana

Week two of my program and here are some thoughts:

1) Headstands are fun but handstands scare the crap out of me. For some reason it is hard for me to keep my gaze between my hands and throw my body up into the air.

2) It seems I am a good nine inches away from being able to do the splits. That is a lot closer than I thought I ever would be, and here I am a fledgling yogi.

3) Classes may talk about the breath in any given day, but they are far, far away from explaining how it interacts with the rest of practice. The really big mental part. The meditation to enlightenment part. Yoga means to bring together opposites, but is that really taught?

4) When faced with decreased down time it is hard to remember that transformation is a good thing. All I could think on the way to the studio tonight was "dammit I don't want to go AGAIN. I just went yesterday!" But mid sun salutation I remembered - this is my chance to grow into something more. And once remembered, class was no longer a chore but a gift.

5) Historically I have always believed that my biggest problem was a lack of discipline. Tonight I realized that I have grown and no longer need to worry about being too lazy. If anything I have to remember to cut myself some slack.

6) The biggest key for me right now is to stop defining myself as the redhead or the girl who fell over on her face from crow or the girl who already meditated every day. I just am and I just need to be. If other people need to define me they can, but there is no need for me to limit myself. Living in NYC I think makes this rather challenging.

There is more, but I'm tired and my poor body needs some rest and my brain needs some deep sleep meditation. Here's hoping for handstand dreams!!

Monday, September 22, 2008

suspending reality

Just asking - If John Connor can run but the Terminator will only walk when chasing him, how come John just can't get away???

Seriously. Have you ever seen a speed walker catch up with a teenager in a dead sprint? Methinks not so much.

Friday, September 19, 2008

only human

Honestly, I know I should be offended.

Probably.

Oh well. I still love it.

reprecussions

Seems my brain is a little bit on yoga overload. Last night I had yoga nightmares.

It could be partly due to the level that I have immersed myself into practice this week. But I think it is more the anxiety of learning and then being tested. It has been a while since I have had to prove myself from scratch to new people.

Either that or performance anxiety.

Ah well, if you aren't afraid you aren't challenging yourself.

Bring on the dreams.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

open

Today I made a really great discovery on my journey through yoga. I realized that when signing up for this series I only considered why I would enjoy the experience, not how I may actually be suited for it.

My natural speaking voice carries. I have a tone that resonates, and my volume tends to be on the stronger side. I have a flair for the dramatic, adding tone and inflection to dialogue.

Huh, good for giving directions to a room full of people who are hanging upside-down.

Never occurred to me until today.

This week I have practiced three times at the studio already, out of four days of the week. It is clear to me how much an instructor can make or break your yoga experience. Astoundingly so.

There is so much to absorb, between theory and breathing and poses and Sanskrit and and and...

One lesson stuck with me tonight. To accept again that I Don't Know.

My job consists of me knowing everything, answering every question. Even when I don't actually have an answer to a question I do have a clear path to discovering the required information. Somewhere along the line I have become a know-it-all.

Crap.

So here I am now, letting go. I DO NOT know everything. In fact, I only know a little bit about a very few things.

Looking back, I remember how enjoyable life was when I absorbed information. I miss that.

Therefore I resolve that I will be open to learn again. And keep learning.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

tadasana

Day two just kicked my ass.

We started the day with a two-hour yoga practice. And you know what? I am officially the sweater of the class. As in perspiration.

Sure, other people were dripping here and there, beads of liquid forming on skin. But me? RIVERS of sweat. Every time we would go from a standing pose to bend over three drops would hit my mat.

Every time.

Without exaggerating I can easily say that I was five times as damp as anyone else in the room.

The fact that I get a little sweatier than most is not really a surprise; I had the same issue running. But in yoga you can't wear a baseball cap to soak most of it up.

Luckily I had already discovered a tool to help me with this challenge in my practice. A marvelous invention called yogi toes. It is terrycloth overlay to your yoga mat that absorbs sweat and keeps you from sliding. Because liquid plus rubber = rockstar yogi landing on her ass.

It is compact, light, and machine washable - so it also is a much more hygienic surface to practice on. Which comes in mighty handy if you happen to rent a mat at your studio.

The rest of the day was a lot of leaning and a few more poses. All the basic stuff so far. Can't wait to see how I feel once we start doing inversions all day...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

namaste

For those of you who didn't know, today I attended the first day of a twelve-week yoga teacher certification course. Two hundred hours of learning anatomy, Sanskrit, teaching skills, business practices, and of course yoga poses up the wazoo.

Don't worry...I'm not quitting my day job. (Well, not yet.)

My knee has healed quite a bit over time. I am able to use the elliptical machine, bike, walk up to two miles in one shot, and - of course - do yoga. To be honest, once I increased the frequency of my yoga practice my knee's health improved significantly.

A while ago I made a list of the things I wanted in a job, what I wanted in my life on a daily basis. It was:

Open work schedule (avoiding nine to five gig)
Wear comfy clothes
Be my own boss
Not have any direct report employees
Look forward to work at least half of the time
Be a positive influence on the world

After bouncing around the list it just occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, becoming a yogi could fit the bill.

The idea of quitting a regular safe steady day job scares the crap out of me. And signing up for the class was even more terrifying. What if I wasn't thin enough? Flexible enough? Spiritual enough? Pretty enough? Graceful enough? Yoga-ish enough?

When I received the email welcoming me to the program it is an understatement to say I was thrilled and relieved. But next came the hard part.

Walking the walk.

Today was the first day of class, from nine am to six pm. Tomorrow is more of the same. I do the whole weekend thing six more times, and every week I also have two weeknight classes lasting two hours each. Plus twelve hours of observation in my own time. And I read three books and write three papers.

Oh, and of course at the end I have to take a couple of certification tests and demonstrate that I can teach.

You would think with that schedule I would feel overwhelmed. But I gotta tell you I am just plain stoked. Over the next twelve weeks I am going to learn a new skill and discover things about myself and twenty-two other people. At the end I may not have a new career, but I will have traveled a new road and will be all the wiser for it.

The lead instructor suggested we all journal, and after class today I felt the call to blog. The class was positive, consisting of introductions, some basic anatomy, teaching theory, and a little practice.

Of all the moments the one that hit me the hardest was that after several hours of studying bodies in the room of all shapes and sizes, resting and in motion, I glimpsed myself in the mirror and for the first time in I don't know how long I was perfectly happy with what I saw.

That is a big deal. Normally I cringe seeing my reflection. But today my first thought was actually, "Huh, I look fine. Why am I so obsessed with looking different?"

Not a bad lesson for a first day.

Friday, September 12, 2008

extra reading

Hey guys!

Avoiding work? Bored? Looking for something interesting to do?

Go no further!! Check out the blog my friend Dev is writing about the move she her husband and their two kids made to India.

Pretty frickin' great. Quite the captivating read. And I'm not just saying that so I have a place to stay when I visit.

Heh.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

guest re-appearance!!

No I'm not really inspired to write again. Yet. But I saw this and my head exploded with joy and thus I had to share.

*love*

Monday, July 21, 2008

good to be an american

Can you imagine if a city or state tried to enforce something like this?

Seriously, try to picture it. Well, at least you non-NYC peeps. Literally only being able to drive your car every day.

Oh wait, with gas prices they way they are life is probably like that already...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

fun trivia

One of my top five favorite movies of all time is M*A*S*H*

Not exactly the same as the TV show. Actually, the sitcom has some storylines that totally are opposite to those in the movie.

Yes. Really.

For example in the TV show Hawkeye tried to free the Korean boy from servitude. In the movie? Pshaw.

I'm not knocking the sitcom, it was really awesome. I'm just saying the movie was better.
....................

But let me show you what I really mean.

You know that catchy theme song? C'mon, you know. If not, just check out a rerun on cable. One is always on.

Know what the original lyrics to the song are?

No??

Why let me tell you....

Lyrics to the song 'Suicide is Painless'

Through early morning fog I see

visions of the things to be

the pains that are withheld for me

I realize and I can see...


[REFRAIN]:

that suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make

all our little joys relate

without that ever-present hate

but now I know that it's too late, and...


[REFRAIN]

The game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

so this is all I have to say.


[REFRAIN]

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

and to another give my seat

for that's the only painless feat.


[REFRAIN]

The sword of time will pierce our skins

It doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...


[REFRAIN]

A brave man once requested me

to answer questions that are key

is it to be or not to be

and I replied 'oh why ask me?'


[REFRAIN]

'Cause suicide is painless

it brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

...and you can do the same thing if you please.


................

OK, maybe I have a dark sense of humor. Maybe. You think?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

being girly

The whole concept of having to have 'feminine' traits in order to be accepted just burns me. It always has. If anything, I go out of my way to be un-stereotypical, embracing enthusiastically my masculine traits. Like math. Tech-love. Ability to play sports.

Heck, I even embrace the less-positive masculine traits. Like bad sense of fashion. Inability to care about my hairstyle. Task oriented behavior. (otherwise known as lack of sensitivity to personal situations in the workplace.)

On occasion I wonder if I am so quick to celebrate my differences because I decided sometime ago I was different. For example did I move to NYC because it is a place where unique people all fit in? Does the mass diversity in some way allow me to in some way to be considered 'normal' for once?

One thing I will say, appreciating the gender-neutral in myself allows me to appreciate the same in men I meet. Give me a sensitive guy any day over Mr Testosterone.

And hey - if the guy I'm with happens to be a little less task-oriented, I say bonus for me my friend. I can set up the speakers if he remembers the birthdays...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

best of all worlds

Huh, let's see.

Created by Joss Whedon, master of Firefly.

Starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion as superheroes.

Oh, and its a musical.

Seriously...what's not to love???

Click here for a preview.

*sigh*

Saturday, July 05, 2008

tree of knowledge

Growing up my family life was very Irish-American stereotypical. Which means we just did not talk about the important stuff.

Oh, we talked. A lot. And by nature we are loud. But talk to each other about feelings or emotions? Ha. My parents did not fight nor kiss in front of us, the kids. Or anyone else for that manner. Thus my skill to mask emotion. But not the point of this post.

Throughout my life my parents had a routine. They watched TV every evening. My mom would wash her hair around 10:00 pm, then put her hair into curlers. (Yes, in the 80's and 90's) Then she would go to bed, and my dad would stay up to watch more TV, eventually hitting the hay around 1:00.

On and off during my college career (Which did last nine years, thank you very much) I would live for a bit with my parents. The routine was always remained the same.

One night, when I was in my early twenties, I was awake watching TV around 3:00 am. My mother went into the kitchen, washed her hair, and then sat down in the TV room with me to put it back into curlers.

Strange, I thought. So I asked.

"Mom", I said,” Why are you doing your hair again?"

She smiled. A mischievous smile. Which frankly I had never seen before. Then replied. "It got messed up"

My response? "Ewwwwwwwwww"

At this point she laughed, "Don't ask if you don't want to know"

To this day, the best advice I have ever gotten. Simple truths always are the best.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

oops

One of my rather strange quirks is that I cut my own hair.

Since all of my other quirks are obviously SO normal. But I digress.

My mom always has and still does cut her own hair. Once or twice a month she washes her hair, then sits down in the family room in front of the TV with two hand mirrors and commence to her trim. She has had the same hairstyle as long as I can remember, a very short pixie-like cut.

So you could say the concept wasn't strange to me. But it isn't just that. No matter what I do and where I go, whenever someone else cuts my hair it looks awful. U-G-L-Y horrible.

Really, I'm not kidding. I gotta tell you, for some reason all the training and experience a hairstylist may have for some reason makes them look at my face and think:

"She needs a mullet. Clearly, a mullet."

I've gone to fancy salons and to regular joe shops. All the same, after shelling out a kabillion dollars I go home and 'clean it up'.

Now, the funny part is that I really have no rhyme or reason to how I cut my mop. After years of watching my mom I kind of know how to do layers and trim the back of my head. But as to maintaining a style?

Yeah, no.

Thus my ‘do is constantly in a state of flux. Which can be a downer if the previous style was a particularly flattering one? My hair grows pretty rapidly, thus nothing looks the same for more than a few weeks.

Which today would be a good thing. Since I trimmed my bangs yesterday. And well....

Oops.

Friday, June 27, 2008

sucker

You know they are making "Shrek - The Musical", right?

Totally going.

Not kidding.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

the man

It sounds kind of weird coming from me, but I really believe that one of the true keys to happiness comes from at some point saying 'yes' to certain values in your life and 'no' to money.

Weird, because I openly have sold my soul for the last couple of years.

Instead of leaving corporate culture I chose the primrose path of a higher salary. There have been some nice side effects. Dumping the debt and the stress associated with it. Being able to afford to go out on the town or on a trip because I actually have the funds to. Having the opportunity to treat friends to some drinks and give gifts to family.

Okay, it totally sounds like I'm richer than I am. By no means am I a millionaire. No means. Just able to indulge in middle-class dreams.

Sure, you are thinking from this vantage point it must be easy to say that money doesn't buy happiness. Because I TOTALLY made that cliché up myself. Yeah.

So I thought of an analogy. But I don't know if it is any good, because it kind of ties into a personal story. You all can be the judge.

Once upon a time there was a really cool company. It was a self-starter, a small place. The 20 or so people who worked there all became great friends - if they were not friends already. The owner was generous with his employees, because he worked with them all day every day. Each night after close everyone would hang out together to talk, drink, and dance. Even if they didn't work that day. They just enjoyed each other that much.

The public loved this business. People would line up to come in. It was not just the product, it was the atmosphere. That many happy people in one spot tends to do something to innocent bystanders.

After about four years the business expanded. Another location opened up, and the original opened a second floor. The original management was busy with the new spot, but there was still enough of the original staff to maintain the spirit and the camaraderie. With the expansion a second generation of employees also became close, again spending not only every working day together but all of their free time.

Still these locations thrived. Business continued to grow, and it seemed limitless potential was possible.

The owner saw this potential. But what happens when you replace a handful of positive people with thirty people you hire to manage as positive? Can they carry on that spirit?

Can thirty ordinary people (with one or two great ones) replace a visionary? No.

As the company expanded and more stores opened, and more spirit drifted away. All the originals were gone, few second generations remained. The more stores the owner opened, the more he had to structure all of them to be alike. To be franchised. Individuals were no longer celebrated. They were diffused, smothered.

Eventually when the word franchise became a reality all that was truly awesome about the business was gone. Revenue per location waned. Some say due to over distribution of the product, but it was never the product alone that sold the experience. At least the owner was able to sell his entire company to a large conglomerate in the end.

Obviously that must have made him the happiest of all his experiences, right? Selling to a corporation?

If he had stuck with a handful of locations and not standardized life, he may not be as rich but his life would be much fuller. Now he keeps company with a bed of dollar bills, not late nights of talking, drinking, and dancing with twenty or more people who are friends.

You are wondering if I made this up. Nope.

I was a second generation. And you would think I would have learned my lesson the first time.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

what's good for you

For a while now I've noticed how much hubabaloo there is for eating non-processed foods. The whole-food movement may not be new, but it seems like with the attention to organic product and the recent expansion of the name brand Whole Food markets people look on processed food as being the devil. Like it is a fact.

Granted I am exceptionally wary of genetically processed foods. Cross breeding corn is one thing, but when you mix it with mackerel and pesticides so that it repels bugs naturally?

Doesn't seem smart to me.

The whole hatred of processed food I think is a little excessive. It is like saying all medicine is bad and not necessary because of the wide distribution of medically irrelevant Viagra. Seems to me penicillin and aspirin are pretty damn good. And with the same logic some processed foods are okay too.

If you still feel some doubt I have one little thing to point out. People who are the most adamant against anything but whole food nine times out of ten are vegetarians. And what is that stuff they eat for protein?

Oh yeah. Tofu. Or Tempe. Both of which are processed food. Nice.

Friday, June 20, 2008

happy friday!

It gets really good around 1:15...and then if possible AMAZING at 2:30!!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

knee drama

Seems I've been delinquent on the knee update. Mostly because I'm still in flux.

No matter what my running days are over. Bummer but okay. I got over that quickly.

Problem is that part of my cartilage is gone. And it doesn't come back. Cartilage is the shock absorber between my knee bones, so back when I was being diagnosed all the walking and biking was aggravating my knee itself and I had swelling and minor fractures in the bone.

Nice.

The doc had me rest completely. No biking, swimming, or even walking until the swelling went down. He even considered having me walk with a cane.

Great.

Now the swelling is manageable and I'm working towards an 'organic' cure. This would mean 1) the cartilage remnants settle into a cushion 2) by some miracle it regenerates or 3) a fibrous tissue like scar tissue forms acting as a buffer between my knee bones.

Surgery or injecting some kind of cartilage stuff are both options, but not as good as the natural healing one I guess.

With this whole healing thing the biggest challenge is staying stationary and being patient. But I'm giving it a whirl. Because right now biking and rollerblading is looking REALLY good. Dammit I miss being active!!

Thus I’m taking it slow, avoiding walking and constantly icing my knee and taking anti-inflammatory meds. In about six more weeks I’ll know if this organic healing thing takes. So we’ll see…

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

fountain of youth

They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of the cure. A stitch in time saves nine.

When it comes to my skin, I'm all about a pound of prevention because I'll be damned if I want to deal with a cure at all. I know that my obsession with looking young is probably fueled by the media. I know I know. But at this point I'm addicted to keeping up appearances as long as possible.

Not being one to keep secrets, I promised Mrs. Ferries over the weekend that I'd list all the crap I use. Because my skin is uber-sensitive, and if this stuff works for me it definitely will work for others.

Morning
Cetaphil Cleanser
Kinerase Intensive Eye Cream
Cetaphil Daily Facial Moisturizer
Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer

Evening
Cetaphil Cleanser
Cosmedicine Opti-mologist PM Intensive Eye Cream
Lancome Renergie Night

Biweekly
Philosophy Microdelivery Peel

The daytime stuff varies as I find new discoveries from my myriad of free samples from Sephora. Except for the primer, that stuff is liquid gold.

Most important of all the crap is the twice a week scrub. Seriously, it is magical. I could give up everything else as long as I kept up the exfoliation.

Yeah, that is a lot of stuff. But by god something is working. Really, who needs wrinkles?? Not me!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

more room for us

Seriously, I'm kinda really excited for this.

At first when I think of the car-free streets I think recreational fun, like back in the day when I was part of the Motor-City Rollers. It was a group of 50-100 people who would converge a few nights a week in downtown Detroit and Rollerblade the city. It was possible because after the 9-5ers went home the streets became a ghost town. Which was AWESOME for us.

But then the idea that someday a safe bicycle commute could really exist like in Portland? I really, really love that idea. Car congestion here is awful and this won't help. But more people used alternative transport? Eh, who knows. Just sounds like a good plan.

Monday, June 16, 2008

back in the Dtown

Well, the whirlwind home trip went over great. The parents were surprised and thrilled with the visit, spent some serious quality time with the sister and the friends. And yes, we even made it to City Club. Which I have to say was damn fun.

And lucky you there are pictures.

This was so enjoyable I'm thinking that I should come home one summer weekend each year. Short and sweet, and the great weather offers so many opportunities of fun. Way more than the freezing xmas holidays offer. So we'll see...


p.s. I was too lazy to write much on Boston, but if you check out Thigh's post you'll get a much better idea of the trip.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

action!

Trips galore!!

First there was Boston this past weekend. I accompanied Thighs to Fenway as part of her quest to conquer all major league baseball stadiums. It was definitely a good time, and there were three statements that dominated the weekend:

1) Wow. Fenway.

2) Geez this place is clean.

3) My god I love the shade.

It was mother frickin hot. And air conditioning? Seems they don't really believe in it in beantown. Seriously, after all day in the heat I actually got physically sick late in the night around 4:00 am. Which oddly was not as bad as being sick from drinking too much. Who knew?

Overall it was awesome. Lots of history, food, drink, and good times. My knee was swollen as heck which was a bit of a drag.

This weekend is the Detroit trip. This one is impromptu so it feels much more spontaneous and therefore adventurous. Even though being my hometown and is all familiar territory. Or maybe part of the thrill it is because I'm staying in a hotel downtown?

My fight gets in 10:00 pm Friday, and then it is drinks and maybe some late night cityclub. (yay!) Saturday starts with a surprise father's day brunch with dad. Surprise as in the parents don't know I'll be in town. THAT will be fun. The rest of the day is to be played by ear, which frankly is pretty darn thrilling.

Then Sunday is the goodbye party for Dev and fam before they shove off to India. Which will be neat, being the reason for the trip and all.

So the real question on my mind - if you always are busy on the weekends do you still feel rested enough to survive the workweek? Or is it the anticipation of the week to come that really makes time fly by? With the trip to Chicago at the end of the month still on the docket I've got a great chance to find out.

God I love experiments.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

try as I might

I can't help it. I don't want to like it. Every logical fiber in my being knows this was made catering to my base instincts.

But goddamn I still want to see this movie. Stupid estrogen.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

70

What the heck do you get your dad when he turns 70?? Really??

He's retired, with my mom. They don't go out, they don't have hobbies. They go to church on Sundays, read the paper, and watch analog nighttime TV.

Okay, he also talks on the phone. A lot. (Where did that gene go, Spaghetti wonders....)

But overall he and my mom pretty much have everything they want. Each Christmas my siblings and I rotate between getting him gloves, hats, and ties. Because there is nothing else he wants or needs.

To this I argue - shouldn't 70 mean something? Isn't there something I can give?

All I have is to call. Which I suppose in some ways may be a lot But really not so much. The idea is grand, but it is limited to what my father will do with it. I don't know what he would like to hear, and he is afraid to ask any meaningful questions. If I could read his mind yes I would talk more...but I can't.

Thus I am left with so little to give. Unless there is a gift he can't foresee that would rock?

Crap. Who knows. People who are seventy don't blog, thus no insight. Guess I'll just try and read his mind.

Monday, June 02, 2008

schedules and plans

You know what is fun? Going on adventures. And it seems I have a few lined up.

This weekend? Boston. Thighs is adding Fenway to her roster of ballparks visited and I'm comin' along for the ride. Being that the one and only time I've been to bean town it was in the middle of February and freezing, this should be a blast.

Next weekend I'm back in Dtown for a quick trip. One of my friends is packing up an moving herself and her family to India. As in a whole different continent India. Talk about a reason good enough to get me to visit...

Finally, at the end of the month the piece de resistance - bachelorette party in Chicago. Five of us (six including the bride to be) are flying out to join the native windy city friends for revelry and mayhem.

My god, this is just the first month of the summer. How do you top all the major cities in the Northeast quadrant to start a summer?

Lets see if I can find a way without breaking the bank. My rent did recently significantly increase after all.

Monday, May 26, 2008

holiday weekend

What to do on a long weekend in the city with perfect weather.

Hmmmmm.

Wonder what to do.

Oh yeah - beer garden!!

Thighs, Spaghetti, La La La, Marathon Man, and assorted friends stopped by for some beer and laughs. And we had plenty of both. Simply. Awesome.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

my favorite analogy

About ten years ago my sister and I did a whole west-coast trip. We started in LA and worked our way north to San Fran for a cousin's wedding.

On the way we stopped to spend some time with our cousin Steve. Being that we had a week to get from one place to another and see all the sights in-between we had a pretty tight schedule.

The morning that sis and I were ready to leave the southern part of the state and head north, Steve convinced us to take a slight detour with him and his girlfriend. On a hike.

He swore up and down we had to do this. The destination was AWESOME, and it would only be an hour or so. We were headed to these natural waterslides - waterfalls that you could ride down in succession.

Sounded cool. We packed up some backpacks with water and snacks. We drove to the spot, parked the cars.

At the entrance, Steve pointed to the hilltop in the near horizon. "That's where we are going,” he said. And we were off.

OH

MY

GOD.

Back then I was a pack a day smoker and a good twenty pounds heavier. Even though Steve, Moe, and Katie carried the backpacks I had to stop the hike several times to catch my breath.

Three hours later.... we reached our destination. And indeed, it was awesome.

It was an oasis of tranquility, like in the movies when people discover those waterfalls and swim around in bliss. We rode down the 'slides', jumped off of cliffs into deep pools of water. Rested, relaxed, enjoyed.

Then trekked the three hours back to the car.

In case you couldn’t tell, we were not able to drive north that day as planned after all. After seven hours on the expedition we needed to shower and rest. Because that hike was a bitch.

Later on in the evening when I pointed out the deception to our deceptor, Steve said, "I knew it was worth it. We just had to get you started. I knew the hill that I pointed to wasn't where we were going, but it didn't really matter. Did it?"

It didn't. Had we known how hard the journey was we might never had taken the trip at all. Which would have been a shame, because it was totally worth it. He was right.

From this, a major lesson learned. Pick a goal and start moving. It doesn't matter if you end up where you thought you would, or if the path deviates from where expected. If you don't try you won't get anywhere. And then you quite possibly could have missed something spectacular.

As for that last post? I remembered my own favorite analogy and said to hell with it. I'm pointing to a visible hilltop, getting started on a path, and the rest will fall into place. Because that is just how it works. Start on a journey and see where you end up.

It is always worth it.

Monday, May 19, 2008

unconscious growth

For the longest time all of my stress dreams revolved around me waiting tables Whatever my current job, if I was under undue stress never did my sleep contain current life situations or people. Inevitably in my dreams I found myself right back into a server nightmare.

It has been a while since I have had any of those dreams. Maybe I'm not as worried about failing at my job or not doing what I should. Whether it is confidence gained in myself or confidence lost in my superiors I couldn't tell you.

Last night I had a dream about my longest job in Michigan - being a server at the Mongo. I was employed by that place for four years. Not always full time, half the time I had a second gig.

What was weird about this latest dream is that the tone was entirely new. It wasn't stressful. It was sad. In the dream I kept trying to arrange a shift, to come back for a special engagement. But for one reason or another I kept forgetting to show up when I should. Then someone else from the store would set me up with a shift, and I would not make it again. And on and on.

Waking up it struck me that I've had that dream a couple of times in the past year or so. But it wasn't until today that the meaning hit me.

As much as I would like to sometimes I can't go back. God, there was so much about that life that I loved. Every person around me was some kind of friend, and we all enjoyed each other for our differences. We were carefree and joyous, thrilling in the freedom from responsibility.

And I was fun. Fun to be around.

Every day I spent most of my time and energy being and having fun. Now I spend my days putting everything in order. Acting the traffic cop, directing who and what to go where.

It isn't that I feel I can never be a good time anymore. It is that I wonder if once having taken on the authoritative role can I ever let it go and just be one of the crowd again. Different but the same.

This explains the jobs I fantasize about having now. They all allow me to step back from being the boss man and step a little bet closer to enjoying life.

Now that my dreams helped me clarify that a little, if they could just point me in a direction that would be mighty handy…

Sunday, May 18, 2008

pearly whites

Before and after photos!!

Here is the pic of my original god-given teeth. Note the dead tooth is more discolored than the rest. So much so you can barely see the Texas birthmark.
Two weeks of not being able to bite into food or eat anything crunchy, I have my new and improved choppers.
Pretty nifty, eh? They even have the whole color fade from top to bottom thing going on like my natural teeth. The doc had pointed this out when I was choosing the brand of veneer.

That is definitely enough dental work for a while. Between that and my knee I've had at least one doctor appointment a week. So many waiting rooms, so many Highlights magazines...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

you better work

Not being a big reality TV fan, I gave in and fell in love with Project Runway.

I have a feeling I have found my second reality series of choice.

Sashay, shante!

never a dull moment

Okay, the pseudogout is gone. Nary a calcium crystal to be found. And my vitamin D levels are back to normal, no more prescription vitamins are needed.

But now I have a cartilige tear, my medial meniscus is detatched. Back to my orthepedic surgeon.

Have I ever mentioned that my body hates me?